Hedonistics Anonymous
Thursday, February 28, 2008
I learned that...1. One of the lovely effects of antibiotics is smooth, pimple-free skin. Heaven, I tell you. It almost makes being sick worthwhile.
2. Dogs CAN choke on bones. Even those that are cooked until soft. And when dogs choke, they make this funny but terrifying ACK!! ACK!! AAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!! sound.
3. Most TV celebrities that I like are not the nicest people to work with. Take Dr Gregory House for example. While I adore his sarcasm, I think I would end up shoving a scalpel up his nose if he was really my boss.
4. Instilling discipline in a kid is exactly like training a dog. Except that a dog is alot cuter. And also alot less of a shithead.
One of my mother's student is extremely weird. He's a chubby 10yo kid with an expressionless face. He's always very sweaty and sticky, and he doesn't really talk. Worst of all, he's mastered the art of moving silently. This is probably the closest thing to Harry Potter's Apparition I've ever seen.
Last week, my mother was giving tuition in the study room. I was in the living room playing some game on my notebook. Suddenly, I saw a flash of orange at the corner of my eye. Thinking that it was my mother, I just spoke without looking up, "Mum, your tuition finished already?"
No answer.
"Mummy?"
No answer.
I looked up, and saw that fat kid staring at me expressionlessly. He was standing roughly 5 meters away. So I ignored him and resumed my playing my game.
5 seconds later, I looked up and he was 3 meters diagonally behind me. Staring at the screen of my notebook.
Another 5 seconds later, he was right beside me and I swear to God, I wanted to scream and push him away. It was such a violation of personal space. It was there and then, I swore that that creepy kid is going to be a rapist when he grows up. He's got the ambush skills down pat. Now all he needs is to wait for puberty to hit.
I fear for the world.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I be Michael Hutchence, no?If I had to watch 5 movies over again, it would be:
1. Trainspotting
2. Almost Famous
3. The Virgin Suicides
4. The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
5. Igby Goes Down
Oh my, if a person could be judged based on his or her movie preferences, then I am obviously a drug addict with severe suicidal tendencies.
Okay, let's just assume for a moment that I am a drug addict with severe suicidal tendencies. Also let's assume that I drive a really hot Porsche.
Okay, let's just assume for a moment that I am a drug addict with severe suicidal tendencies. Also let's assume that I drive a really hot Porsche.
I'll be a rockstar. :)
Back to work, peeps.
Monday, February 25, 2008
I sound like a sick dragonOver the weekend my cough came back.
On Sunday, I woke up with a bitter taste in at the back of my mouth. It was so gross. Even chocolate tasted gross. Swallowing was painful because I felt as if a handful of broken glass had been shoved down my throat.
On Sunday, I woke up with a bitter taste in at the back of my mouth. It was so gross. Even chocolate tasted gross. Swallowing was painful because I felt as if a handful of broken glass had been shoved down my throat.
And my brain was busy telling me that it needed pizza and ice cream. Yeah, bring on the killer stuff, baby.
It's strange how I crave forbidden food when I'm not feeling well.
Last night I coughed and coughed until I was drenched in sweat, tears and spit. Sounds gross, right? Well, try coughing while lying down. Just make sure you have an umbrella ready. I coughed until my throat muscles cramped up and I almost couldn't breathe.
Damn medicine isn't working. :(
I've already had two courses of antibiotics (Amoxicillin didn't work, now I'm on some AB - big white pill with MPI printed on it), plus syrup, expectorant, and lozenges. I wish the doctor had given me some painkillers as well. I don't like pain.
If all these don't work, I'm going to switch to a Chinese physician.
Btw, whenever I see a doctor for a sorethroat, after he's done with the examination and stuff, I like to ask, "Doctor, is it an infection?"
1o out of 10 times, I swear the doctor will pick up the torch and shine it down my throat AGAIN just to confirm. It amuses the hell out of me, but it scares me too because shouldn't the doctor know whether or not it is an infection during the first round of examination? God forbid if the doctor's prescribing me antibiotics for nothing! And I've tried this on more than one doctor, so I can't say it's an isolated incident.
Try it for yourself.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Is Duncan Sheik gay?
The bloke in question(Ripped from some forum...)
EirePiano
LOL Many of you may be like, "Duh" to this, but I live under a rock. I just watched the VH1 Sexiest Artist thing, and I saw him in an interview. God that man is gorgeous. Is he gay? Please?
LOL Many of you may be like, "Duh" to this, but I live under a rock. I just watched the VH1 Sexiest Artist thing, and I saw him in an interview. God that man is gorgeous. Is he gay? Please?
sharpie pen
I hope to motherfucking Christ he is.
I hope to motherfucking Christ he is.
sneeze
you guys are always so greedy.
Coniption
Nope. He's been seen with various women throughout his career...he's labelled as not being able to hold a steady relationship, but I'm pretty sure (from everything I've read) he's not.
:(
bliss_11
Originally posted by sneeze
you guys are always so greedy.
:p indeed!!!
Lathan
I of course don't want to get the FBI/Justice Department on me or a case of the 'thrax, but I heard he's President Bush's Bi-Sexual man friend. I'm sure the Globe or the BBC will report on this any day now.
(But Shhh! You didn't hear it from me!)
PrinceFamiliar
Oh, c'mon now.
Being seen with women, not able to hold a relationship with a woman.
he's gay, in denial, has lots of fag hags, and soon enough, he'll bite his tongue long enough and figure out he wants it.
And I'll be there.
Chris
XFER
He "recently" said he has a girlfriend.
But if he's gay, I want him for myself... well, even if he's not gay ;P
Is it just me or did anyone else find this hilarious?
God bless funny gay Caucasians.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Any song with "Debbie does Dallas" in its lyrics has gotta be coolMum: Is it true that Shu Qi is involved in the Edison Chen scandal?
Me: Don't know. I wouldn't be surprised though.
Dad: It's good that this kind of thing happened! You see-lah... you people always idolize those celebrities and treat them like God. Now you know how sick they are from the things they do. What... oral sex... and sleeping around with multiple partners!
Me: But daddy... normal people do that too...
Dad: ........
Dad: NO THEY DON'T!!!
Me: Well, Mr Chua did.
Dad: AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!!!
Me: Don't know. I wouldn't be surprised though.
Dad: It's good that this kind of thing happened! You see-lah... you people always idolize those celebrities and treat them like God. Now you know how sick they are from the things they do. What... oral sex... and sleeping around with multiple partners!
Me: But daddy... normal people do that too...
Dad: ........
Dad: NO THEY DON'T!!!
Me: Well, Mr Chua did.
Dad: AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!!!
Hmm... I'm puzzled. Since when did oral sex fall into the same category as necrophilia, coprophilia and zoophilia?
On a totally different note, I updated the music in my PC and the black chick in me totally digs Kanye West! Also I'm having strange cravings for old school electronica and big beat, hence major re-downloads of The Chemical Brothers, Groove Armada and Bomfunk MC's.
Who remembers the kid with dreadlocks in Bomfunk MC's 'Freestyler' music video?
Who remembers the kid with dreadlocks in Bomfunk MC's 'Freestyler' music video?
His name is Marlo Snellman and when I was 19 or 20, I thought that he was kinda cute in that underaged jailbait kinda way.
Almost 10 years down the road and I'm still thinking the same thing.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
How to lure a Hainanese lady into your bedMe: Apart from the car, I don't think Chen has anything else going for him.
Ems: He's got the language thing.
Me: What language thing?
Ems: How many languages do you speak, including dialects?
Me: Lemme see... English, Malay, Cantonese and a smattering of Hokkien.
Ems: Chen can speak English, Malay, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien, Hakka AND HAINANESE!
Me: Wtf... who speaks Hainanese?!?
Ems: Ermm... Hainanese girls?
Me: Yeah, but what are the chances that Chen will ever bed a Hainanese girl?
Ems: Who knows, maybe he puts plates of chicken rice on his bed every night.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Fucking hilarious.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The last time he spoke to me, it was NYE 98 or 99 and he had alcohol on his breathThe first time I had I really serious crush on a guy was in Primary 6. He was two years older, very good looking and terrific athlete.
Like all little girls do in the face of preconceived true love, I gave this guy a nickname. It's not Hot Hunk, but it's close enough. And I spent almost every waking moment thinking and trading details about him with my friend. I even had my father buy me a pair of Power and LA Gear sneakers because he had both. He also had a pair of Wilson sneakers which I didn't need to buy because my mother had a pair which I immediately coveted. Every morning was a game of "Let's Guess the Sneakers". If I my guess was correct and we both came to school wearing the same brand of sneakers, this meant that we were fated for each other. If not, damn the world to hell. But there's always tomorrow, right?
Haha.
Anyway, the most fucked up thing I probably did was to join the school's Athletics Club all because Hot Hunk was the president of the club. It was an extremely idiotic thing to do because I hated athletics and my idea of fun is definitely NOT running laps on the muddy football field and coming home looking like a Dalmatian in my mud-splattered PE shirt. Yucks. How unattractive.
So I did the next best thing.
I purposely escaped from club activities.
Hot Hunk, being a stickler for discipline (he didn't get that hot muscled bod from sheer laziness) would actually hunt escapees down for questioning. So my friend and I would hide in the classroom to gossip every Thursday afternoon.
Once, in the midst of gossiping, we failed to notice someone leaning at the door frame.
I forgot who noticed him first, but my friend and I were too stunned at the sight of Hot Hunk at the door with arms crossed and a wry smile on his face. "Hello girls. Aren't you both suppose to be somewhere else?"
"I'm sick..." I replied immediately.
He looked at my friend, "And what's your excuse?"
"I'm sick too..." she answered.
"You both don't look sick to me."
My friend and I both kept quiet.
"You better not let me catch you escaping the club again. I expect to see both of you next week, understand?"
We nodded. "Okay."
"Good." He turned around and walked out of the classroom, sunlight bouncing off his tanned skin, calf muscles flexing with every step.
Back in the classroom, I finally remembered to breathe again.
Like all little girls do in the face of preconceived true love, I gave this guy a nickname. It's not Hot Hunk, but it's close enough. And I spent almost every waking moment thinking and trading details about him with my friend. I even had my father buy me a pair of Power and LA Gear sneakers because he had both. He also had a pair of Wilson sneakers which I didn't need to buy because my mother had a pair which I immediately coveted. Every morning was a game of "Let's Guess the Sneakers". If I my guess was correct and we both came to school wearing the same brand of sneakers, this meant that we were fated for each other. If not, damn the world to hell. But there's always tomorrow, right?
Haha.
Anyway, the most fucked up thing I probably did was to join the school's Athletics Club all because Hot Hunk was the president of the club. It was an extremely idiotic thing to do because I hated athletics and my idea of fun is definitely NOT running laps on the muddy football field and coming home looking like a Dalmatian in my mud-splattered PE shirt. Yucks. How unattractive.
So I did the next best thing.
I purposely escaped from club activities.
Hot Hunk, being a stickler for discipline (he didn't get that hot muscled bod from sheer laziness) would actually hunt escapees down for questioning. So my friend and I would hide in the classroom to gossip every Thursday afternoon.
Once, in the midst of gossiping, we failed to notice someone leaning at the door frame.
I forgot who noticed him first, but my friend and I were too stunned at the sight of Hot Hunk at the door with arms crossed and a wry smile on his face. "Hello girls. Aren't you both suppose to be somewhere else?"
"I'm sick..." I replied immediately.
He looked at my friend, "And what's your excuse?"
"I'm sick too..." she answered.
"You both don't look sick to me."
My friend and I both kept quiet.
"You better not let me catch you escaping the club again. I expect to see both of you next week, understand?"
We nodded. "Okay."
"Good." He turned around and walked out of the classroom, sunlight bouncing off his tanned skin, calf muscles flexing with every step.
Back in the classroom, I finally remembered to breathe again.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
If you didn't get anything for Valentine's Day, I'm sorryThe pressure was on to top last year's Valentine's Day, which is no easy feat because I didn't tell B what I wanted. So I just assumed that he would know what to do. Very dangerous, yes I know.
When I stepped into my cubicle yesterday morning, there was nothing on the desk.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I thought to myself, "Shit, I'm so screwed this year. I knew I should have asked for a handbag. Or the Philip Pullman book. Or both. But I'm not a demanding girlfriend. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Oh, fuck it. I am."
It was rather funny in a depressing kinda way.
Fast forward to after lunch. I asked my colleague MK to accompany me to the toilet (because all girls go to the toilet in pairs hahaha) but she was crawling under the desk trying to plug her handphone charger into the socket and I ended up having a conversation with her butt.
Her butt kindly told me to go to the toilet by myself.
Fine.
When I got back, MK was in an upright position and lo and behold, there was a huge purple teddy bear bouquet on my desk. Oh yes, B knows that his girlfriend is not a flower person. Haha. I do miss the Ferrero Rocher bouquet though. Pretty... and edible.
When I stepped into my cubicle yesterday morning, there was nothing on the desk.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I thought to myself, "Shit, I'm so screwed this year. I knew I should have asked for a handbag. Or the Philip Pullman book. Or both. But I'm not a demanding girlfriend. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Oh, fuck it. I am."
It was rather funny in a depressing kinda way.
Fast forward to after lunch. I asked my colleague MK to accompany me to the toilet (because all girls go to the toilet in pairs hahaha) but she was crawling under the desk trying to plug her handphone charger into the socket and I ended up having a conversation with her butt.
Her butt kindly told me to go to the toilet by myself.
Fine.
When I got back, MK was in an upright position and lo and behold, there was a huge purple teddy bear bouquet on my desk. Oh yes, B knows that his girlfriend is not a flower person. Haha. I do miss the Ferrero Rocher bouquet though. Pretty... and edible.
So beary big and purple
Apparently, I was the only one in the office (on my floor) who received a bouquet for Valentine's Day at the workplace. Heh. :)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
If you want to treat me like hired help, you better pay me firstMy mother has this seriously bad habit of pimping me off to relatives without my consent.
Example 1:
1st Aunty: I need to go to the bank tomorrow.
My mother: *pointing at me* Don't worry, she can send you! She's not working tomorrow!
Example 2:
2nd Aunty: I need to buy pepper and bird's nest.
My mother: *pointing at me* Don't worry, she can send you! You just tell her what time you are ready.
Me: But I have an appointment with my friend at 3:30pm! What if I don't make it in time?
My mother: If you think you cannot make it, then you better change the time of your appointment.
Example 3
3rd Aunty: Come and play blackjack with us!
My mother: No... don't want! I don't know how to play.
3rd Aunty: Aiya, just join us lah... blackjack very easy to learn...
My mother: Don't want lah... *points at me* Nehh! You ask her to play with you, she knows how to play!
Me: Maaaaa... I really don't feel like playing okayyyyyy....
My mother: Just go! Play for awhile also cannot meh?
CNY this year wasn't very kind to me. I came away with a pimples, a bad cold and a sorethroat. Not to mention being my mother's and aunties' constant personal chauffeur has left me feeling extremely tired and cranky. I've even resorted to taking my medication at the dinner table to show everyone that yes, I'm sick so please leave me alone and let me rest pleasethankyouverymuch but nobody seems to be getting the message.
Oh my lovely workplace, how I miss you so much... at least nobody bothers me here. I'm so happy to be back at work.
Oh my lovely workplace, how I miss you so much... at least nobody bothers me here. I'm so happy to be back at work.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
The CNY story so farIt's the third day of CNY and I'm sitting alone at The Original Carwash because I need to go online and I'm a sucker for free WiFi.
God, I love this place.
The staff here actually recognizes me, nevermind that I only sent my car for wash here twice only. Cool place, great ambience, great drinks (their ice-blended pecan nut is really yummy) and it's reasonably near to my house.
Okay, the real reason why I'm here alone is because I need to smoke dammit. Two whole days without nicotine running through bloodstream is taking a toll on my energy level. Being my mother's personal Filipino maid is no walk in the park. I've even resorted to pretending to be deaf when she's ordering me to cut more chocolate cake or serve the guests. Blehh. I'm tired. I'm constipated. I need my ciggies. I need a goodnight's sleep.
My mother invited her sisters and cousins over to our house for a slumber party tonight. One of her cousins is a real gambling fiend. Thanks to her I learned how to play Russian poker last night. And lost abit of money in the process.
Well, there's no such thing as a free lunch, innit?
God, I love this place.
The staff here actually recognizes me, nevermind that I only sent my car for wash here twice only. Cool place, great ambience, great drinks (their ice-blended pecan nut is really yummy) and it's reasonably near to my house.
Okay, the real reason why I'm here alone is because I need to smoke dammit. Two whole days without nicotine running through bloodstream is taking a toll on my energy level. Being my mother's personal Filipino maid is no walk in the park. I've even resorted to pretending to be deaf when she's ordering me to cut more chocolate cake or serve the guests. Blehh. I'm tired. I'm constipated. I need my ciggies. I need a goodnight's sleep.
My mother invited her sisters and cousins over to our house for a slumber party tonight. One of her cousins is a real gambling fiend. Thanks to her I learned how to play Russian poker last night. And lost abit of money in the process.
Well, there's no such thing as a free lunch, innit?
Friday, February 01, 2008
Someone should start a Pay to Comment applicationI get mildly annoyed when, in addition to their comments, people leave links to their blogs with a helpful, "Do drop by at my blog" or "Feel free to comment on my blog".
It's just... blatant self-advertisement.
It's just... a ploy to up your blog traffic.
It's just... argh.
Honestly I get extremely confused when faced with commenters like these. Why in the name of all things good and holy would you want me to comment on your blog?! Would it improve your karma in any way?! Well, I do try to be polite and drop the occasional comment, but in fact I'm an extremely lazy commenter. In reference to bloggers who disabled the comment function on their blogs, heck I can't even bring myself to leave comments in chat boxes.
(Chics, although I don't comment, I still read your blog faithfully. Heh.)
I pride myself on knowing precisely what I want to read. I pride myself on recognizing from the way a person comments, roughly how his or her blog is going to be written. Put it this way, I have close friends that blog and even I don't read all of their blogs. Don't get me wrong, all my friends are lovely, lovely people real life. But not everyone's blogging style is my cup of tea. You may like my blog, but I might not like yours.
I'm not bothered by the (miniscule) amount of traffic on my blog. Apart from the useless Google Adsense which I installed almost two years ago but never bothered checking, my blog has not succumb to Nuffnang, Adverlets or PayPerPost. Maybe Lilian thinks that bloggers who don't have ads are foolish, but I've never considered blogging as a source of income. It's just something I do in my free time. Maybe I will some time in the future... but when I think about whoring my blog, blehh... hahahahaha.
I'm too narcissistic to allow that to happen. I might not be Kenny Sia, but still this MY baobei blog and so far I only write about stuff that are of full interest to ME. I've nothing against bloggers who blog for money. To each his own, I guess.
My CNY leave was approved, so I'll be a taking a rest from blogging for the whole of next week... *happy happy joy joy* :)
Gong Xi Fatt Chai to all my readers, and may the Year of the Rat bring good health, wealth and happiness to everyone.
I'm thinking of getting a new hamster soon.
It's just... blatant self-advertisement.
It's just... a ploy to up your blog traffic.
It's just... argh.
Honestly I get extremely confused when faced with commenters like these. Why in the name of all things good and holy would you want me to comment on your blog?! Would it improve your karma in any way?! Well, I do try to be polite and drop the occasional comment, but in fact I'm an extremely lazy commenter. In reference to bloggers who disabled the comment function on their blogs, heck I can't even bring myself to leave comments in chat boxes.
(Chics, although I don't comment, I still read your blog faithfully. Heh.)
I pride myself on knowing precisely what I want to read. I pride myself on recognizing from the way a person comments, roughly how his or her blog is going to be written. Put it this way, I have close friends that blog and even I don't read all of their blogs. Don't get me wrong, all my friends are lovely, lovely people real life. But not everyone's blogging style is my cup of tea. You may like my blog, but I might not like yours.
I'm not bothered by the (miniscule) amount of traffic on my blog. Apart from the useless Google Adsense which I installed almost two years ago but never bothered checking, my blog has not succumb to Nuffnang, Adverlets or PayPerPost. Maybe Lilian thinks that bloggers who don't have ads are foolish, but I've never considered blogging as a source of income. It's just something I do in my free time. Maybe I will some time in the future... but when I think about whoring my blog, blehh... hahahahaha.
I'm too narcissistic to allow that to happen. I might not be Kenny Sia, but still this MY baobei blog and so far I only write about stuff that are of full interest to ME. I've nothing against bloggers who blog for money. To each his own, I guess.
My CNY leave was approved, so I'll be a taking a rest from blogging for the whole of next week... *happy happy joy joy* :)
Gong Xi Fatt Chai to all my readers, and may the Year of the Rat bring good health, wealth and happiness to everyone.
I'm thinking of getting a new hamster soon.
