Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Okay, I've been busy. Very busy indeed. In fact there's nothing I want to do more than be busy with this.
There's a display of maternity clothes going on at the ground floor of my office building. The clothes are seriously nice, okay. And if they're not being modeled by pregnant mannequins, I bet nobody would have ever thought those clothes were for mothers-to-be.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 6:20 pm ::
Unfortunately, my colleague MK and I do not have the guts to browse the display. It's like walking into a clinic that treats STDs. I mean, what would people think??
Me: Don't you wish you were pregnant so that you can go look at the maternity outfits?
MK: Yalorh, some more the clothes are so nice.
Me: Don't you wish you could like, have sex now and get pregnant, and you go buy the clothes for CNY. Then after CNY you just abort the baby.
MK: Hahahahahaha yeah I wish. Actually nowadays you don't have to be pregnant to wear maternity clothes. There are alot of normal clothes out there that look like maternity wear anyway.
Me: Then why bother buying maternity clothes?
MK: If buy, have to buy the nice ones. You know how when women are pregnant they look like crap? They should invest in nice outfits to make themselves feel better.
Me: I think when you're pregnant, the last thing you worry about is looking sexy.
MK: That's why pregnant women should buy nice outfits so they don't have to worry about not looking sexy.
Me: Try telling yourself that when you're pregnant and wearing your new sexy outfit, and you're having morning sickness at the same time.
Me: You'll be like, "I'm SEXY!!! *bleeuuuurrgggggggghhhhh* I'M SEXY!!! *bleeeuuuurrgh* I'M SEXY!!! *bleeeeuuuuuurrrrrrggggggggghhhh*"
Friday, January 25, 2008
See En Why
I love Chinese New Year because...
...my neighborhood smells like gunpowder from all the firecrackers/fireworks. I have a rich neighbour who spends almost RM15K every year just on fireworks and firecrackers alone. Thanks to him, I get to see colourful flowers and sparkly mushrooms in the sky.
...I get to eat cigarette cookies. You know, those tiny popiah rolls stuffed with meat floss. Oooh yums.
...My grandmother cooks her yummy curry. I love love love my grandmother's cooking.
I hate Chinese New Year because...
...I hate spring cleaning.
...I hate serving visitors with food and drinks. But I don't mind being served.
...I hate those little kids who can't sit still and run around the house dirtying the sofas and walls with their sticky fingers.
...I hate shopping for new clothes just because it's CNY.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 7:23 pm ::
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Miss Liberty's lost her head... oh noes
Yesterday was Movie Day (say yay to RM5 tickets!) and so MK and I decided to sacrifice what's left of our brain cells after a long hard day at work to the altar of Cloverfield
Cloverfield... is one of those movies you either love or hate. In my case, it's both. Firstly, I'm prone to motion sickness. I cannot read in a moving car without feeling sick. I cannot watch people play first person shooter games such as Doom or Wolf 3D without feeling sick. Strangely, I'm fine with Counterstrike. And the first time I watched Blair Witch, I ended up with nausea and a headache. No, I'm not a fan of movies shot through a hand-held video cam, which is precisely what Cloverfield is.
However, what saved Cloverfield from being the total loser bastard offspring of Blair Witch and Godzilla is the monsters. J.J. Abrams did an AMAZING job of creating the giant creatures that attacked Manhattan. And considering how bloody unforgiving I am of monster movies (I fell asleep in the cinema while watching Godzilla), when I finally something is amazing, you'd better believe it.
Oooh, and did I mention the huge crab-like parasites that fall off the monster's back? :)
The second best reason for watching Cloverfield is Odette Yustman who plays Beth. She's so sexy and gorgeous, I almost considered booting Jessica Alba off the #1 spot on my CILF list (C = chicks).
muff muff muff muff muff :P~
So go watch Cloverfield. See giant ape-like monsters destroy Manhattan. Watch what happens when someone gets bitten by the parasites. Marvel at how people can still think of looting electronic stores while their city is on the verge of being crushed to pieces.
Just remember to take a motion-sickness pill beforehand.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 6:51 pm ::
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Oooo... 你看!!! 很 exciting worh!!!
I finally Asianized my PC by downloading some Chinese input software.
Let's give it a try.
Actually I wanted to type 我很讨厌半菜人 but I felt that wasn't too politically correct. Hahahahaha. Oh well.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 11:53 pm ::
Monday, January 21, 2008
Life is so whatever
I am very angry with myself and one other person today.
Needless to say, I vented my anger in a locked toilet cubicle, calling that person every rotten name I that entered my mind in a hushed but fierce whisper.
Then I imagined that person choking on a Big Mac in McDonald's, falling to the floor, one hand around the throat, eyes bulging out... just. slowly. choking. to. death.
Or getting hit by speeding car while crossing the road.
The best part is nobody bothers to help. A lady and her friend steps over the body and continue chatting to each other happily. It's just another ordinary day in paradise.
And all the while, I'm standing motionless in the sidelines, a small smile playing on my lips.
It's all in the head, but damn, revenge is sweet. :)
Man, what wouldn't I give to be Damien for one day.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 10:49 pm ::
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Panadol Actifast, I don't like you anymore
I came home PadBoy's farewell party on Saturday with a pounding headache. I blame it on the erratic weather. It started with a slight throbbing at the back of my head and by the time I reached my front gate, the throb had mutated into sledgehammers pounding rhythmically on every single nerve in my head.
Oooh the PAIN. :(
Strangely I didn't feel like taking paracetamol. I thought I could ride the pain out through sleep. Then I woke up halfway during the night to cover myself with the blanket and I was amazed that the headache was still there. It's like swimming in the sea where above the surface is PAIN and below is NO PAIN. And immediately I thought, "Okay, time to dive deeper now." I went back to sleep and presto, no pain.
I am still amazed at how our bodies are able to ignore pain during sleep.
Sunday morning, and my headache was gone but my head was feeling exceptionally tender. Two hours into watching CSI reruns and suddenly the ominous throbbing returned. This time around, I'm not eager to let my body put its own pain management theory into practice, I rooted around the fridge and came out with something better than paracetamol...
Tastes like a more medicinal version of Eno, and with warm water, it's gross. But within three minutes the pain was gone. Apparently the liquid stuff enters the bloodstream faster than pills. Lovely.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 6:52 pm ::
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I love to travel but I hate plane rides. I absolutely hate the smell of plane interiors, it makes me want to puke. Actually, everything about airplanes make me want to puke - the takeoff, the flying, the landing, the food, the shitass toilet, the noise, hitting air pockets, not being able to smoke, the passenger in front of me reclining the chair all the way back into MY personal space, stupid pilots that fly the plane like it's a mechanical bull in a rodeo etc. The only moderately okay thing about plane rides is watching movies on long haul flights. Oh, and being able to order the air stewardess to bring more tomato juice.
I don't eat chicken gizzard, ever. However, I love the Ipoh curry chicken rice that is served at the A-one coffeeshop at BDC. For RM4.50, you get a big plate of rice drenched with non-spicy curry sauce, flanked by a sizable amount of chicken meat, a fried egg, and some dark brown pieces of meat. It's so damn good, I tell you. So one day I decided to bring my parents to try the curry chicken rice.
Dad: (pokes at brown pieces of meat) What's this?
Me: It's pork. Try it, it's very nice.
Dad: (mumbling) Doesn't look like pork to me...
Mum: Yes, it doesn't look like pork.
Me: It IS pork. You try first!
Dad: (Pops a piece into his mouth)
Dad: Are you sure this is pork? I don't think this is pork.
Mum: It tastes like... chicken gizzard.
Me: WHAT THE...
Sis: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ATE GIZZARD!!!
Me: Shaddap lah, haiya. I say pork is pork, ok.
Sis: It's chicken gizzard!
Me: I don't care. I say it's pork. I DON'T EAT GIZZARD!!!
Apparently, I still don't eat chicken gizzard. Ever.
I love the beach but I'm horribly allergic to sandfly bites. So whenever there's a beach trip, I'll be like "YAY!" for one minute and the next minute I'll be frantically searching for my Mosi-guard
. Most people buy powerful sunblock lotions for the beach. I buy powerful insect repellent. Mosi-guard rocks.
Once, I bought this dunno-what-brand repellent from Watson pharmacy. It looks like a cylindrical deodorant stick. The outer tube is dark blue while the cap is light green. I applied a THICK coat of it on my legs at the beach and the moment I capped the repellent, a sandfly settled on my leg to feast. Good lord.
I smoke but I don't touch alcohol. Okay, I CAN'T. *rolleyes*
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 8:52 pm ::
An afternoon at the beach, more than 10 years ago
I want to go the beach in the afternoon, just before the storm.
I want to feel the soft icy drizzle on my face, the chilling wind in my hair, the crash of waves in my ears.
I want to feel the sand chaffing the skin between my toes.
I want to see lightning bolts streaking across the dark gray sky like ever-changing xenon crack patterns.
I want to smell the mist and ozone in the air.
I want to taste sea salt on my lips.
I want to go back to the beach in the afternoon again, just before the storm.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 12:14 am ::
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
It's only 15 days into the year and look at the drama
I was away from the office for two days because I had to rush back to my father's hometown to attend my grandfather's funeral.
He lived to the ripe old age of 97, and he passed away on the same day as my beloved sonny boy. But I only had enough tears to shed for one.
But the trip back wasn't a total loss. For one, I met up with my youngest aunty and her daughter from Australia. The last time I saw them both was more than 10 years ago.
The best part is that there's WiFi in the house! And it's unsecured and I get to tap into the line and use it for free. I have no idea where the signal's coming from though... probably from some overly generous tech savvy (but not quite either) Foochow neighbour.
Sometimes it pays to lug the notebook around. :)
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 7:51 pm ::
Friday, January 11, 2008
If I could have you back in a heartbeat, I would...
Last night we brought PP Boy home from the vet."...I don't want Church to be like all those dead pets! I don't want Church to ever be dead! He's my cat! He's not God's cat! Let God have His own cat! Let God have all the damn old cats He wants, and kill them all! Church is mine!..."
I prepared a small box for him and lined it with shredded toilet paper. I used my finger to gently brush his fur for the last time.
He felt so cold.
PP Boy hates being cold.
It was 9pm when my sister and I dug a hole in the grass patch outside the house. The soil was very hard and stony and we were only equipped with a small gardening fork each.
I placed a small concrete slab to mark the boy's final resting place.
Then I went indoors to cry myself 20 oceans of tears.
I am so mad at God for taking him away.
Pet Sematary (1983)
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 6:11 pm ::
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Goodbye PP Boy
Yesterday evening, I decided to clean PP Boy's cage because he scratched up all the paper bedding and it was smelling slightly funky. After that, I reattached the water bottle and carried the boy back into the cage. Unfortunately, he slipped out of my hand at the very last minute and fell onto the tiled floor.
I panicked because he landed funny, and he didn't attempt to get up immediately. So I knelt down and called his name over and over again, coaxing him to get up from his curled up position. Only then I realized that his hind legs were not moving, and he started to drag himself using his front paws.
I cupped him in my hands and put him on the counter top, all the time calling his name and pleading with him to walk properly. But he was still scooting around on his front paws, his hind legs trailing uselessly behind him.
At that point I burst into tears. Being a public holiday, the boy's usual vet was closed already, my colleague MK helped me out by calling up a house vet, whom luckily was still open. It was so heartbreaking to watch the boy dragging himself around like a paraplegic. Although he didn't seem to be in pain, I could tell he was very frustrated because he couldn't get around as quickly as he used to. He couldn't twist his body to wash himself, because whenever he tried, his legs would just flop uselessly behind him. He lost control of his bladder functions and would pee while he was scooting around. But the most awful part was when he attempted to climb onto the wheel, and he fell off midway. Maybe he thought that he could still run... he just didn't understand why his hind legs were not functioning.
So I brought him to the vet at 8pm. The boy didn't want anyone to pick him up, and attempted to nip the vet thrice. The vet diagnosed him with back injury and said that he would probably be paralyzed from waist down for the rest of his life. It was very painful to hear the diagnosis I decided to board him at the vet's for a few days because I'll be outstation during the weekend.
On the drive home, I cried non-stop. I felt so guilty for being a rotten parent. B tried to comfort me by saying that we'll get another hamster, but at that moment all I could think of was that the only hamster I want is my PP Boy. My clever PP Boy who could do toilet, wheel, and climbing tricks.
Last night, my mother, my sister and I prayed hard for his recovery. Actually I had hopes of bringing him to church for a healing session. I felt that he had as much right to be healed by God as any other person. After all, aren't all living things created by God?
This morning the vet called me up to say that PP Boy died sometime during the night.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Rest in peace, boy boy. We'll always love you.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 9:14 pm ::
Friday, January 04, 2008
Or more accurately, their penises. But since I'm currently monogamous, I guess I have to switch from plural to singular. Penis.
Dunhill Menthol Lights for everyday smokes. Marlboro Menthol Lights when someone is kind enough to purchase them from a local duty-free. Sobranie Mints when someone is extremely kind enough to purchase them from an international duty-free.
. I can't get enough of sending my pet dragon out for combat.
Because my inner diva craves for public adoration.
Only dark, bittersweet types please. I'm currently loving Richfields
dark chocolate. Yums.
. Is the cutest, most adorable little bugger ever. I love, love, love him so very much. He's the only one I'll actually baby talk to, because I think he's more adorable than any baby I've seen.
As long as it's not pink, I'll eat it.
I'm a bookworm. It's amazing how focusing on printed words have the ability to calm me down. I'd rather read than watch tv. Television rots the brain.
Is the only tv show that DOES NOT rot the brain. :)My battery-operated whatever.
Because it hits the spot Every Single Time.
My addiction liberators. What’s yours?(Sorry Pat, I just had to rip your post. It was too good.)
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 1:18 am ::
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
I practiced monogamy, and still am.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?What resolutions?
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
She's my colleague and ex-classmate. Does that count as close?
4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
China (as usual) and Thailand.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My birthday. Seriously, I'm HOPELESS at remembering dates and I can only be truly counted on remembering my own birthday.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I made it through my first job performance review.
9. What was your biggest failure?
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Apart from the usual coughs/colds, I don't think so.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Neil Gaiman books - American Gods and Stardust. I heart Neil Gaiman :)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
MK and my sister, for selflessly taking care of my precious hamster son when I was away on vacation. Twice.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I shall not mention who those pricks are.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Books, handbags, food, vacation, petrol, insurance and season parking.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The idea of moving to a whole new continent to start a new life. Being a Thursday's child, I have an incurable nomadic streak in me.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Dashboard Confessional - Stolen.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
I have no idea. Probably happier, fatter, richer? But the richer part is only because I've gotten my year-end bonus.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Attended classes more regularly.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Oh God, I don't seriously don't remember. I remember being at Seattle Coffee on Christmas Eve, but that's about it.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I fell in love with my hamster. He's like the cutest thing ever! :)
22. What was your favorite TV program?
House MD and CSI.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is too strong a word. Dislike, yes. Hate, no.
24. What was the best book you read?
Anthony Bourdain - Kitchen Confidential & A Cook's Tour omnibus.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
26. What did you want and get?
Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential & A Cook's Tour omnibus. I wanted it so bad that I was prepared to order it online. Luckily I managed to find a copy in one of the more expensive bookstores in town.
27. What did you want and not get?
For someone very close to me to be truly happy.
28. What was your favorite film this year?
Lucille Hadzihalilovic's Innocence, and Douglas McGrath's Infamous.
29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
My B brought me out for a nice dinner and more. I was old enough.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting a puppy or a new car.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
If it's comfortable, wear it.
32. What kept you sane?
Knowing that whatever I do, I still have to go home and be nice to my parents.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jessica Alba turns me on.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I read Malaysia Today religiously. Don't get me started on politics.
35. Who did you miss?
Miss Thongs and my gay doctor friend in Melbourne.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
The gay fart machine's boyfriend because he can gossip as good as any girl. :)
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Sometimes it's better to let people make their own mistakes instead of constantly rescuing them, or else they'll never learn.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 6:11 pm ::