Hedonistics Anonymous
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Hamstery loveSometimes when the boy demands some privacy while eating, he'll back his ass up against his house and wedge himself under the wheel.
When he's eating he doesn't like to be disturbed. And you can tell that he doesn't like to be disturbed because he's got his foochow face on (note: slitty eyes). And I love his bulging cheeks in this photo because they remind me of my late pearlscale goldfishes.
This is a pearlscale goldfish. Note the physical similarities. So cute :)Picture courtesy of Goldfish Utopia.
After eating, the boy will use his front paws to frantically wipe his mouth. Sometimes he'll wipe his whole face as well. I enjoy watching this rather human-like act. Sometimes I think hamsters are descended from monkeys.
Nah, just joking. Hamsters are adorable. Monkeys are ugly.
Nah, just joking. Hamsters are adorable. Monkeys are ugly.
Then I'll shake the canister of dried mealworms and call him, "PP... PP...". The worms are like his drug of choice. When he's sound asleep, I can call him, drop a broom, tap his cage... and he still wouldn't wake up. But if I gently rattle the worm canister, he'll wake up in a flash and zoom to the cage door.
At the sound of the rattling canister, he'll immediately stop what he's doing and switch into full alert mode.
At the sound of the rattling canister, he'll immediately stop what he's doing and switch into full alert mode.
And he'll come rushing to the cage door, climbing the grills and trying to stick his body out as far as possible because he knows very well that he'll be rewarded for his quick response.
Clever boy.
Clever boy.
And who taught you how to hide your food?
Every day when I get home from work, I'll head to the boy's cage first to check on his food bowl. Yesterday, I found it almost empty, with a stray bean or two rattling around. I was about the refill the bowl when I spotted something reddish brown tucked among the sawdust at the corner of the cage.
It was a peanut.
Oh well, I just popped it back into the bowl.
Suddenly I spotted another reddish brown something.
Another peanut. Hmm.
Immediately I lifted the entire pile of sawdust up with a plastic spoon, and lo and behold! I discovered a pile of uneaten food! Buckwheat seeds. Oats. A small dried shrimp. Two veggie biscuits.
Bloody hell. Sometimes I think the boy is too smart for his own good. Sigh, now I have to check every nook and cranny of the cage before I actually give him more food. This annoying food-hoarding instinct has got to be eradicated!
It was a peanut.
Oh well, I just popped it back into the bowl.
Suddenly I spotted another reddish brown something.
Another peanut. Hmm.
Immediately I lifted the entire pile of sawdust up with a plastic spoon, and lo and behold! I discovered a pile of uneaten food! Buckwheat seeds. Oats. A small dried shrimp. Two veggie biscuits.
Bloody hell. Sometimes I think the boy is too smart for his own good. Sigh, now I have to check every nook and cranny of the cage before I actually give him more food. This annoying food-hoarding instinct has got to be eradicated!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The bus ate my reviewYesterday after work, my colleagues and I were walking to the carpark across the road. Suddenly, a tour bus rounded the corner, drove too near to the sidewalk, and hit the paper bag that I was holding.
It happened so fast. I felt a loud bang, and my fingers were jerked forward sharply. Next thing I knew, my paper bag exploded and all my stuff were lying on the road. I was so stunned, I just stood there and watched the bus run over my review papers. MK and N were busily gathering all my stuff from the ground - my documents, my drinking bottle and my ID tag.
The front cover of my review papers has a huge black tyre track on it now. I want to ask the bosses for another copy, but I really don't how to tell them what happened. It's like one of those unbelievable "my dog ate my homework" incidents when your dog really DID eat your homework. Erks.
It happened so fast. I felt a loud bang, and my fingers were jerked forward sharply. Next thing I knew, my paper bag exploded and all my stuff were lying on the road. I was so stunned, I just stood there and watched the bus run over my review papers. MK and N were busily gathering all my stuff from the ground - my documents, my drinking bottle and my ID tag.
The front cover of my review papers has a huge black tyre track on it now. I want to ask the bosses for another copy, but I really don't how to tell them what happened. It's like one of those unbelievable "my dog ate my homework" incidents when your dog really DID eat your homework. Erks.
Monday, September 24, 2007
MundaneI could blog about how I got my annual review today.
I could blog about how nervous I was, which really amused the bosses.
I could blog about how I kept nodding my head and going "yes", "alright" and "okay" at all the appropriate moments.
I could blog about how ka-ching! I felt when I saw the paragraph stating monetary increment.
Instead I'm totally fantasizing right now about how many Charles & Keith bags I can lay my hands on before I switch back to reality mode.
ONLINE SHOPPING ROCKS MY SOCKS.
Now if only Old Navy had international shipping, I'd be the happiest person on Earth. Their t-shirt quality is to die for.
I could blog about how nervous I was, which really amused the bosses.
I could blog about how I kept nodding my head and going "yes", "alright" and "okay" at all the appropriate moments.
I could blog about how ka-ching! I felt when I saw the paragraph stating monetary increment.
Instead I'm totally fantasizing right now about how many Charles & Keith bags I can lay my hands on before I switch back to reality mode.
ONLINE SHOPPING ROCKS MY SOCKS.
Now if only Old Navy had international shipping, I'd be the happiest person on Earth. Their t-shirt quality is to die for.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Damn you Mr BourdainI had dinner a little too early yesterday, which resulted in a growling tummy by midnight.
The shitty thing about being hungry when you're in bed is that more often than not, you're just too damn lazy to get out of bed to find something to eat. And you can't sleep because all you think about is foodfoodfood which makes your saliva glands work overtime and you start getting stupid thoughts like, hey McD is open 24hrs! I want a Big Mac... and a Double Cheeseburger... and 6pcs McNuggets... and a chocolate sundae with extra chocolate sauce...
You get the idea.
Anyway, I didn't get out of bed BUT I did the next stupidest thing: I started reading Anthony Bourdain's A Cook's Tour, hoping to visually appease my hunger.
Which only served to make my tummy crave for foods I've never tried before. Bacalao. Cheesy Normandy butter. Translucent baby octopus from Portugal. Fresh toasted baguette slathered with butter and dipped in bitter chocolate sauce. Osso bucco. Bagel and lox, bialys, and chopped liver from Barney Greengrass in Manhattan.
Sometimes I'm really my worst enemy.
The shitty thing about being hungry when you're in bed is that more often than not, you're just too damn lazy to get out of bed to find something to eat. And you can't sleep because all you think about is foodfoodfood which makes your saliva glands work overtime and you start getting stupid thoughts like, hey McD is open 24hrs! I want a Big Mac... and a Double Cheeseburger... and 6pcs McNuggets... and a chocolate sundae with extra chocolate sauce...
You get the idea.
Anyway, I didn't get out of bed BUT I did the next stupidest thing: I started reading Anthony Bourdain's A Cook's Tour, hoping to visually appease my hunger.
Which only served to make my tummy crave for foods I've never tried before. Bacalao. Cheesy Normandy butter. Translucent baby octopus from Portugal. Fresh toasted baguette slathered with butter and dipped in bitter chocolate sauce. Osso bucco. Bagel and lox, bialys, and chopped liver from Barney Greengrass in Manhattan.
Sometimes I'm really my worst enemy.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Hamster anticsLast night, the greedy boy attempted to climb out of his cage to seize the worm I was waving at him. Unfortunately, he climbed up a wee bit too fast and before he realized it, he had all four paws perched on top of a single bar. One more step, he would've gone tumbling out of the cage.
Still, he was greedy and he didn't want to fall backwards into the cage, so he stuck one stumpy paw out and waved it round and round furiously like a propeller in an attempt to keep his balance.
It was insanely cute and I rewarded him with a few more worms for making me laugh.
Still, he was greedy and he didn't want to fall backwards into the cage, so he stuck one stumpy paw out and waved it round and round furiously like a propeller in an attempt to keep his balance.
It was insanely cute and I rewarded him with a few more worms for making me laugh.
Here's the boy doing his rounds in his makeshift playpen (rubber hula-hoop).
And the boy in a takeaway Starbucks carrier. Btw, Malaysian pet owners (waves to Che-Cheh) might be interested in this site: Buddy Pet Wagon. It's a local online pet store and delivery is free within the country! Go check it out.
For dog and cat owners (waves to Che-Cheh again), Pets Place is also a nice site to check out. Unfortunately, the store does not cater for hamsters and other small animals so it's of not much interest to me. But I like the layout, very neat and professional looking.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! And it feels good having to say that out loud.Some days I wake up bright happy but go to sleep at night feeling utterly down and depressed.
I hate being miserable among happy people because it makes me so jealous and I feel even more miserable and I just want to reach out and WHOMP! WHOMP! WHOMP! other people's happiness to death.
But I don't.
Instead I just shove the little happiness-destroying guy back into the deepest recesses of my mind, plaster on a ultra real-looking fake smile, and act really normal.
I hate having to pretend.
I hate being miserable among happy people because it makes me so jealous and I feel even more miserable and I just want to reach out and WHOMP! WHOMP! WHOMP! other people's happiness to death.
But I don't.
Instead I just shove the little happiness-destroying guy back into the deepest recesses of my mind, plaster on a ultra real-looking fake smile, and act really normal.
I hate having to pretend.
And it's all your fault.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Want to disable someone? Just take away their phone.Last night I learned what it felt like to be physically disabled when I absentmindedly left my handphone in the office.
I felt sooooooo handicapped. As if I lost a limb or something. I'll be, like, watching tv... then I'll automatically look around for my phone to check for incoming sms, only to remember that I LEFT MY PHONE IN THE OFFICE DAMMIT!!
And then before I sleep, I'll automatically set my alarm for 7:15am. Hmm, where's my phone? IT'S IN THE OFFICE BLOODY HELL!!
I ended borrowing my sister's antique Nokia dunnowhatmodel as my alarm clock. And I almost didn't wake up this morning because I'm used to being rudely awaken by the corny hip-hop rap of Smilez and Southstar and this morning all I half-heard was a vague toot, too-toot, too-too-toot, too-too-too-toot.
Anyway, I've already been reunited with my phone and now all is well in HedoLand.
I felt sooooooo handicapped. As if I lost a limb or something. I'll be, like, watching tv... then I'll automatically look around for my phone to check for incoming sms, only to remember that I LEFT MY PHONE IN THE OFFICE DAMMIT!!
And then before I sleep, I'll automatically set my alarm for 7:15am. Hmm, where's my phone? IT'S IN THE OFFICE BLOODY HELL!!
I ended borrowing my sister's antique Nokia dunnowhatmodel as my alarm clock. And I almost didn't wake up this morning because I'm used to being rudely awaken by the corny hip-hop rap of Smilez and Southstar and this morning all I half-heard was a vague toot, too-toot, too-too-toot, too-too-too-toot.
Anyway, I've already been reunited with my phone and now all is well in HedoLand.
Actually, I fast fast finish this post because I want to play Desktop Tower Defense. But, really, you shouldn't click on the link because the game is so addictive, it's probably one of Satan's tools.
Btw, anyone who clicked the link (and shouldn't you guys be at work, hmm?) I MANAGED TO COMPLETE THE NORMAL MODE (MEDIUM)!!! Don't bother starting with the easy mode, that's for pansies.
Btw, anyone who clicked the link (and shouldn't you guys be at work, hmm?) I MANAGED TO COMPLETE THE NORMAL MODE (MEDIUM)!!! Don't bother starting with the easy mode, that's for pansies.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Reality checkI was browsing through Friendster when I decided to check out my friend's page to see updated pics of his very adorable baby with huge eyes (like her Eurasian father).
I was biting my lower lip to stifle my grin and muttering softly, "Omg, so cute! Omg so cute!" at every new pic. I showed the pics to MK proudly, as if the baby was mine (I know... so delusional).
I also read his wife's blog which was about the baby and how it's sooooooo difficult to get her figure back and how her clubbing life is now non-existent yadda yadda yadda... until I hit upon her entry on how she endured the 12 hours of labour - THE WORST PAIN SHE'D EVER EXPERIENCED.
And then I remembered why I intended to remain child-free for a long, long time.
I was biting my lower lip to stifle my grin and muttering softly, "Omg, so cute! Omg so cute!" at every new pic. I showed the pics to MK proudly, as if the baby was mine (I know... so delusional).
I also read his wife's blog which was about the baby and how it's sooooooo difficult to get her figure back and how her clubbing life is now non-existent yadda yadda yadda... until I hit upon her entry on how she endured the 12 hours of labour - THE WORST PAIN SHE'D EVER EXPERIENCED.
And then I remembered why I intended to remain child-free for a long, long time.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Star signsStar signs that get my love:
1. Aquarius
Aquarians are funny and intelligent. And they're mostly easygoing enough to suit my moods.
2. Virgo
Virgos are NOT the easiest people to live with because unlike other star signs, they do not seem to share a similar set of characteristics. You might like one Virgo and hate another. Virgos tend to worry alot which gets on my nerves and they can be sarcastic sonofabitches, but luckily I adore 99% of the Virgos in my life.
3. Sagittarius
I've only gotten close to one Sagittarius in my life and he's one of my favouritest person because we actually listen to what each other have to say. Remember children, communication is very important.
4. Libra
Librans score very highly in the charm and romance department. They are fun people - very witty and intelligent. And they flirt like their lives depended on it.
5. Capricorn
Most Capricorns are born with money-making instincts, a trait that I admire greatly. They can come across as being rather aloof and arrogant, but they're actually warm and reliable people.
6. Taurus
I LOVE MYSELF. Nuff said.
Star signs that get both my love and hate:
1. Gemini
Geminis are usually fickle, indecisive, MANIPULATIVE, and too smart for their own good. And for some bloody reason, Geminis always have financial issues. Probably due to their love for electronic gadgets, they spendspendspend and then complain that they don't have money. Oh, and Geminis love to gamble. Probably to finance their spending habits.
2. Leo
One of my best friend is a Leo. On the other hand, the ex I hate most is a Leo. Both are super clingy fuckwits and are always getting yelled at by me.
3. Pisces and Cancer
When they are good, they are very good. When they're bad, they're psychotic emo freaks. Emo people scare the shit out of me.
4. Scorpio
Scorpios ooze charm so thick and sweet, it can give you Type 2 diabetes. Scorpios are usually very good looking (or they work damn hard to be) which is probably why most of them are very full of themselves, but not in a nice way. Scorpios can also be very spiteful and hold grudges for a veryveryvery long time. Another extremely manipulative star sign.
5. Aries
Most Aries have excellent business sense and are not afraid of challenges. But I've never gotten close to one. Oh well, maybe to my cousin. Headstrong bitches that they are, they're not everyone's cup of tea. An old friend's ex-gf was an Aries. She's smart and determined, but also very cunning and cocky at the same time. I didn't like her at all.
1. Aquarius
Aquarians are funny and intelligent. And they're mostly easygoing enough to suit my moods.
2. Virgo
Virgos are NOT the easiest people to live with because unlike other star signs, they do not seem to share a similar set of characteristics. You might like one Virgo and hate another. Virgos tend to worry alot which gets on my nerves and they can be sarcastic sonofabitches, but luckily I adore 99% of the Virgos in my life.
3. Sagittarius
I've only gotten close to one Sagittarius in my life and he's one of my favouritest person because we actually listen to what each other have to say. Remember children, communication is very important.
4. Libra
Librans score very highly in the charm and romance department. They are fun people - very witty and intelligent. And they flirt like their lives depended on it.
5. Capricorn
Most Capricorns are born with money-making instincts, a trait that I admire greatly. They can come across as being rather aloof and arrogant, but they're actually warm and reliable people.
6. Taurus
I LOVE MYSELF. Nuff said.
Star signs that get both my love and hate:
1. Gemini
Geminis are usually fickle, indecisive, MANIPULATIVE, and too smart for their own good. And for some bloody reason, Geminis always have financial issues. Probably due to their love for electronic gadgets, they spendspendspend and then complain that they don't have money. Oh, and Geminis love to gamble. Probably to finance their spending habits.
2. Leo
One of my best friend is a Leo. On the other hand, the ex I hate most is a Leo. Both are super clingy fuckwits and are always getting yelled at by me.
3. Pisces and Cancer
When they are good, they are very good. When they're bad, they're psychotic emo freaks. Emo people scare the shit out of me.
4. Scorpio
Scorpios ooze charm so thick and sweet, it can give you Type 2 diabetes. Scorpios are usually very good looking (or they work damn hard to be) which is probably why most of them are very full of themselves, but not in a nice way. Scorpios can also be very spiteful and hold grudges for a veryveryvery long time. Another extremely manipulative star sign.
5. Aries
Most Aries have excellent business sense and are not afraid of challenges. But I've never gotten close to one. Oh well, maybe to my cousin. Headstrong bitches that they are, they're not everyone's cup of tea. An old friend's ex-gf was an Aries. She's smart and determined, but also very cunning and cocky at the same time. I didn't like her at all.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Quote Unquote RequoteMy colleague MK thinks that sometimes I'm too full of myself.
Well, I think so too.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HEDO'S QUOTABLE QUOTES:
1. I had a baby walker last time. I still have photos of me zooming around in the walker. I looked so cute, you know.
(To B and colleague N, who managed to look aghast after that)
2. Eh, what do you think of that bag? I think it's really cool lorh... AND IT'S SOOOOO ME!!
(To MK, who patiently puts up with my hobo bag fetish)
3. Hello? Because I'm worth it, okay?
(To justify why I deserve anything I want)
4. Omg, I'm like Miss Universe compared to her.
(To B, about his ex. Yes, I'm very mean, so sue me)
5. Womansie, here's the link... click on it. Do you see the recipe for cheese and chives scones? Now bake for me! I want scones, dammit!
(To Miss Thongs, who truly understands my need for sugar-free chocolate brownies with pecans)
6. Got buy me present or not? If you don't buy me present, DON'T EVEN THINK OF BRINGING YOUR GAY ASS BACK TO KUCHING!!
(To my Australian gay buddy, who spoils me in return for allowing him to be ultra whiny and clingy)
6. You know what, this is the benefit of being... ME!
(To MK, about why I get twice-yearly parent-sponsored trips to cool places)
Sometimes I cannot believe the things I say.
Well, I think so too.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HEDO'S QUOTABLE QUOTES:
1. I had a baby walker last time. I still have photos of me zooming around in the walker. I looked so cute, you know.
(To B and colleague N, who managed to look aghast after that)
2. Eh, what do you think of that bag? I think it's really cool lorh... AND IT'S SOOOOO ME!!
(To MK, who patiently puts up with my hobo bag fetish)
3. Hello? Because I'm worth it, okay?
(To justify why I deserve anything I want)
4. Omg, I'm like Miss Universe compared to her.
(To B, about his ex. Yes, I'm very mean, so sue me)
5. Womansie, here's the link... click on it. Do you see the recipe for cheese and chives scones? Now bake for me! I want scones, dammit!
(To Miss Thongs, who truly understands my need for sugar-free chocolate brownies with pecans)
6. Got buy me present or not? If you don't buy me present, DON'T EVEN THINK OF BRINGING YOUR GAY ASS BACK TO KUCHING!!
(To my Australian gay buddy, who spoils me in return for allowing him to be ultra whiny and clingy)
6. You know what, this is the benefit of being... ME!
(To MK, about why I get twice-yearly parent-sponsored trips to cool places)
Sometimes I cannot believe the things I say.
Monday, September 10, 2007
PhurrLast week, B and I were at the Holiday Inn, and guess what we saw on the walls of the bar?
Somebody call PETA now, please.A word of caution, sonny boy.
The same might happen to you if you don't behave yourself.
Although I seriously doubt the amount of fur you have will make a big impact on MY walls.
The same might happen to you if you don't behave yourself.
Although I seriously doubt the amount of fur you have will make a big impact on MY walls.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Some drivers should go to hellI'll be busy for a whole week so no updates.
Oh, but I just have to write about what happened this morning on my drive to work. I got stuck behind this STUPID OLD WOMAN DRIVING A MERCEDES! The traffic light was already green and instead of trying to beat the light, she SLOWED DOWN 50 METRES BEFORE THE WHITE LINE with her right signal blinking. I mean, fuck lah, you're already on the right lane which is a turn-right-only lane and why in Jesus' name did you have slow down wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy before you reach the white line, you stupid indecisive old bitch.
Next time, ask your husband to hire a driver for you. Or better still, poke out both your eyes and chop off all your limbs so that you wouldn't be able to drive anymore.
Oh, but I just have to write about what happened this morning on my drive to work. I got stuck behind this STUPID OLD WOMAN DRIVING A MERCEDES! The traffic light was already green and instead of trying to beat the light, she SLOWED DOWN 50 METRES BEFORE THE WHITE LINE with her right signal blinking. I mean, fuck lah, you're already on the right lane which is a turn-right-only lane and why in Jesus' name did you have slow down wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy before you reach the white line, you stupid indecisive old bitch.
Next time, ask your husband to hire a driver for you. Or better still, poke out both your eyes and chop off all your limbs so that you wouldn't be able to drive anymore.
This community service message is brought to you by a very grumpy person.
Have a nice day.
Have a nice day.
