Hedonistics Anonymous
Thursday, December 28, 2006
If you haven't watched Russell Peters, you're skullfuckedLast night's conversation was surreal.
N: Can you believe that a Datuk that old can marry a girl our age?
Me: Why not? He's rich. He can do whatever he wants.
N: Yeah, but can you imagine having a stepmother younger than you?
Me: Erm... no?
N: How old is the Datuk's son? Thirty plus?
Me: Yeah, around there.
N: I don't know how that old man can keep up with his new wife.
Me: Why not? He probably shares his wife with his son.
N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: You know, like, when he's tired he just yells at the son, "BE A MAN!! DO THE RIGHT THING!!" and shoves the wife into the son's room.
N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
M: You're sick.
Me: Yeah. :)
Happy New Year and have a great weekend, y'alls.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Christmas in FoochowlandEvery time someone asks me how was my trip to Sibu, I tell them that it was totally excellent and then I giggle quietly to myself because I just told such a big fat fucking lie.
Every time I go back to Sibu, my father would treat his entire family to an expensive dinner, costing more than RM300. If my uncle happened to be there too, he'll also treat the family to an equally expensive meal. So this time round, I had two expensive dinners because my uncle wanted showcase his brand new son-in-law.
My Sibu relatives rarely eat out so I find it amusing the way they attacked the expensive dishes such as cod fish, sea cucumbers, scallops etc. I try not to let them devour too much of the expensive stuff (must leave some for me, okay?) but I was pretty generous when it came to the sea cucumbers because I'm not a fan of tasteless jellyish stuff. But chopsticks off the pacific clams and abalone mushrooms, please... they're mine mine mine!
Thanks to my family's love for all things Asian, I didn't get to taste turkey on Christmas day.
Thank goodness there's 31st Dec to look forward to.
Someone better serve turkey on that day.
Every time I go back to Sibu, my father would treat his entire family to an expensive dinner, costing more than RM300. If my uncle happened to be there too, he'll also treat the family to an equally expensive meal. So this time round, I had two expensive dinners because my uncle wanted showcase his brand new son-in-law.
My Sibu relatives rarely eat out so I find it amusing the way they attacked the expensive dishes such as cod fish, sea cucumbers, scallops etc. I try not to let them devour too much of the expensive stuff (must leave some for me, okay?) but I was pretty generous when it came to the sea cucumbers because I'm not a fan of tasteless jellyish stuff. But chopsticks off the pacific clams and abalone mushrooms, please... they're mine mine mine!
Thanks to my family's love for all things Asian, I didn't get to taste turkey on Christmas day.
Thank goodness there's 31st Dec to look forward to.
Someone better serve turkey on that day.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Merry Christmas
Yups, Merry Christmas everybody... from me and the vibrating pug.
Please drop comments about how adorable Deedee is. Her owner, MK, hasn't quite forgiven me for referring to her pug as a furry sex toy. Thankyouverymuch.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
It's evil to tag someone in DecemberAshish C, please read the title of this post.
1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
In deep, fiery bowels of hell. Also known as my office cubicle.
2.Who will be your next kiss?
The big guy on the 9th floor.
3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Yesterday, yes. However I'm wearing a black bra today.
4. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Yesterday, today, and everyday.
5. Are you wearing socks right now?
Nope. I only wear socks when I rob houses.
6. When was the last time you went out of town?
Last night. Apparently I switched off the lights, lay in bed, closed my eyes and BAM! Suddenly I was in Paris.
7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
How did you know I went to watch Casino Royale last night?!?!
8. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Rain. Never cross the street on a rainy day without an umbrella.
9. What are you wearing now?
An extremely bored look on my face.
10. Have you been in a car wash?
Inside the car in a car wash, yes. Outside the car in a car wash, no.
11. Last food you ate?
Rice with hot curry and cold tofu. Very yin and yang.
12. Where were you last week on Saturday?
This is cruel. I don't even remember where I was yesterday.
13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
No. No money, no shopping.
14. When was the last time you ran?
Two weeks ago, right before I twisted my right knee.
15. What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Everton vs Chelsea. I'm an EPL fanatic.
16. What are your favorite classes?
High class and Mercedes E-class.
17. Your dream vacation?
Bangkok. And Amsterdam. Don't ask why.
18. Last 3 people’s houses you were in?
My parents' house. Which will soon be my sister's house. And also my house. Does that count as 3?
19. How old are your parents?
The way they behave, you would think they're younger than me.
21. Do you miss anyone?
The big guy on the 9th floor.
22. Last play you saw?
Abba's Mamma Mia. It was pretty good, if I do recall.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
All she wants for Christmas is a loving dogIn life, you reach a point where you realize that sex isn't the *only* thing worth doing all the time.
There's shopping.
There's eating.
And last but not least, there's masturbation.
MK thinks I'm pro-masturbation but then again, we can't all have boyfriends and husbands to please us all the time, right?
I offered to get her a vibrator for Christmas. Nothing fancy, just a discreet little remote controlled egg vibby.
Unfortunately, she declined.
I guess her pug has been doing its job very well.
Heh. :)
The aforementioned pug. She's an adorable clam-faced love sponge.Sunday, December 17, 2006
I hate winterMy mother's currently obssessed with winter clothes. Every year when we go travelling to some cold place, she insists on getting new winter wear for herself. And when she's done satisfying her winter fetish, she turns her obssession on to the rest of the family.
So far she has managed to get red fur-trimmed parkas for herself and my sister. And a huge ski jacket for my father.
Which leaves me.
Yesterday she dragged the entire family to the nearest shopping centre to hunt for a winter jacket for me. Firstly, this was a very bad idea because the weather was stiflingly humid and I was extremely grouchy. Secondly, I'm not keen on buying China-made winter wear. I must've tried on three entire racks of stupid coats and jackets (and getting grouchier by the minute) before settling on a lovely blue ski parka with a fur-trimmed hood. Best of all, it was USA-made!
Price: RM259.90 and no discount.
We left the shopping centre empty-handed.
When we got home, my parents had to attend some pre-x'mas potluck party, so my mother left me strict intructions to go through the old winter clothings located in various places around the house and FIND SOMETHING THAT I LIKE.
I bloody had enough of all things winter.
So the moment they left the house, I made a hasty exit to watch the Barcelona-Internacionale match. (B, now you know why I was extremely moody yesterday)
Sometimes I don't know why I keep forgetting that I have low tolerance for cold weather. Last year it was Shanghai. Year before last it was Hong Kong. After each trip I promise myself that it would be the very LAST time I set foot in any place where the temperature dips below 10 degrees. And sure enough, the following year when my mother asks the entire family where we would like to go for holidays, I'll open my mouth and yell gleefully, "SOMEWHERE COLD!!"
Yeah, I'm an ungrateful brat but right now, I'll give anything to switch destination from Beijing to Bangkok.
So far she has managed to get red fur-trimmed parkas for herself and my sister. And a huge ski jacket for my father.
Which leaves me.
Yesterday she dragged the entire family to the nearest shopping centre to hunt for a winter jacket for me. Firstly, this was a very bad idea because the weather was stiflingly humid and I was extremely grouchy. Secondly, I'm not keen on buying China-made winter wear. I must've tried on three entire racks of stupid coats and jackets (and getting grouchier by the minute) before settling on a lovely blue ski parka with a fur-trimmed hood. Best of all, it was USA-made!
Price: RM259.90 and no discount.
We left the shopping centre empty-handed.
When we got home, my parents had to attend some pre-x'mas potluck party, so my mother left me strict intructions to go through the old winter clothings located in various places around the house and FIND SOMETHING THAT I LIKE.
I bloody had enough of all things winter.
So the moment they left the house, I made a hasty exit to watch the Barcelona-Internacionale match. (B, now you know why I was extremely moody yesterday)
Sometimes I don't know why I keep forgetting that I have low tolerance for cold weather. Last year it was Shanghai. Year before last it was Hong Kong. After each trip I promise myself that it would be the very LAST time I set foot in any place where the temperature dips below 10 degrees. And sure enough, the following year when my mother asks the entire family where we would like to go for holidays, I'll open my mouth and yell gleefully, "SOMEWHERE COLD!!"
Yeah, I'm an ungrateful brat but right now, I'll give anything to switch destination from Beijing to Bangkok.
Btw, I saw an okay-looking woolen coat at Parkson going for RM174 after discount. It's not something I really like (too conservative) but at least it's not some fugly China-made shit.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Piet-ris Hilton
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE CIPIET-EST LECTURER EVER... WE LOVE YOU MISS HILTON!!! NOW GET UNDER MY DESK AND WORK THAT SKANKY TONGUE OF YOURS!!!
Gawd, creativity makes me hungry.
Anybody for Japanese buffet or steamboat tonight?
I'm in the mood for sashimi.
Followed by hot miso soup.
And then more sashimi.
Gawd, creativity makes me hungry.
Anybody for Japanese buffet or steamboat tonight?
I'm in the mood for sashimi.
Followed by hot miso soup.
And then more sashimi.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I am the Wheel of Fortune
You are The Wheel of Fortune
Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success
The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
I love tarot cards. I have my own deck, given to me by a good friend as a birthday gift 2 years back. I can roughly interpret the major arcana, but not so good at the minor arcana unless they come with pictures for references (the minor arcana in my tarot set doesn't come with pictures).
Anyway, I had my first taste of tarot reading when I was at Sg Wang Plaza in KL. Tucked in corner of the topmost floor was a little shop selling tarot decks and cutesy wootsy accessories. The lady who owned the shop also conducted tarot readings at RM20 per person. But my two friends and I told her that we were students, so we only paid RM10 each.
Anyway, I had my first taste of tarot reading when I was at Sg Wang Plaza in KL. Tucked in corner of the topmost floor was a little shop selling tarot decks and cutesy wootsy accessories. The lady who owned the shop also conducted tarot readings at RM20 per person. But my two friends and I told her that we were students, so we only paid RM10 each.
I had a pretty good reading, with my overall card being the World. According to Wikipedia, the World is intepreted as:
"...A major element of happiness is wholeness - the sense that everything is working together in harmony. Not in a static way, but with dynamic balance. Involvement is also important. To be happy, we must feel connected - engaged with what is around us. There is also accomplishment - knowing that we have goals and are moving toward them successfully. When all these elements come together, we feel fulfilled and blessed. The World represents these moments and all that goes into them..."
IMHO, the World is the bestest card in the major arcana.
Btw, it's not true that the Devil or Death is a bad card. There are no bad cards in the Tarot. I get very irritated when people freak out when they draw a so-called bad Tarot card.
Btw, it's not true that the Devil or Death is a bad card. There are no bad cards in the Tarot. I get very irritated when people freak out when they draw a so-called bad Tarot card.
The Devil represents enslavement by choice. The two people in the cards have chains around their necks, but upon closer look, those chains are actually looped loosely. This means that the two people can slip the chains off easily but perhaps they can't see it, or they choose not to do so.
Wikipedia has a nice interpretation of the Devil:
"...The Devil is the card of self-bondage to an idea or belief which is preventing us from growing - an example could include believing that getting drunk each night is good for you. On the other hand, however, it can also be a warning to someone who is too restrained and/or dispassionate and never allows him or herself to be rash or wild or ambitious, which is yet another form of enslavement..."
Death, on the other hand, could represent a loss of some kind. The Death card does not necessarily signify physical death but more of "out with the old and in with the new". I like the Death card because it protrays a sense of justice. The powerful king lies dead on the ground. The pope is pleading for his life. The lady cannot bear to face death. Only the innocent child looks up to death in awe and wonder.
The card shows that sadness and loss is inevitable regardless of age, wealth or status. Still it is part and parcel of life.
The card shows that sadness and loss is inevitable regardless of age, wealth or status. Still it is part and parcel of life.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Dear SantaDear Santa,
Remember the list of resolutions I made for this whole year?
1. Not to have more than two vices (smoking, drinking, gambling, philandering etc).
2. Not to spend more than I earn.
3. Not to get involved with married men.
4. Not to be reckless with anyone's heart and feelings.
5. Not to lead a nomadic lifestyle.
So far I've only managed to break one resolution. Oh well, four out of five ain't too bad I guess.
Btw Santa, the two things I want most are:
Remember the list of resolutions I made for this whole year?
1. Not to have more than two vices (smoking, drinking, gambling, philandering etc).
2. Not to spend more than I earn.
3. Not to get involved with married men.
4. Not to be reckless with anyone's heart and feelings.
5. Not to lead a nomadic lifestyle.
So far I've only managed to break one resolution. Oh well, four out of five ain't too bad I guess.
Btw Santa, the two things I want most are:
- Any Anthony Bourdain novel (except Kitchen Confidential).
- That gorgeous 3/4 pants from Adidas that I've been eyeing for ages but kept holding out for the mega sale.
Thankyouverymuch.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
December pinks and bluesI twisted my right knee while playing frisbee on Sunday. I had to be carried off the playing field. It hurted like mad but I'm macho enough to not to cry (I did swear alot though).
My dad tui'ed my knee for me and now the skin at the back looks like the result of 1st degree domestic violence. The tui'ing hurted alot more than the injury. I had to stand with my hands to the wall while my dad applied some herbal ointment and whacked the shit out of my knee until the injured veins and whatnots all popped up. I was coldsweating buckets and trembling from the pain. Kids, don't try this at home.
On Monday, I limped even more than ever. Going up the stairs was difficult (1 whole minute to negotiatiate 20 steps). Coming down the stairs was HELL since I couldn't bend my knee at all. Oh, getting in and out of a car was no stroll in the park either. When eating out, I deliberately slashed my liquid intake to reduce toilet trips. It was bad.
On Tuesday, my knee was still stiff but not to painful. I went to see the doctor and he gave me diclofenac 20mg which IMHO, sucks. Right now, I'm taking glucosamine on the side as well. Like my mother, I love popping supplements.
On Wednesday night, my limp was barely noticeable but I still cannot fully bend my knee.
On Thursday I headed back to work eventhough I had one more day of MC because I was so bored. Heck, I even wore heels for the fun of it.
Anyway, it's December already.
My dad tui'ed my knee for me and now the skin at the back looks like the result of 1st degree domestic violence. The tui'ing hurted alot more than the injury. I had to stand with my hands to the wall while my dad applied some herbal ointment and whacked the shit out of my knee until the injured veins and whatnots all popped up. I was coldsweating buckets and trembling from the pain. Kids, don't try this at home.
On Monday, I limped even more than ever. Going up the stairs was difficult (1 whole minute to negotiatiate 20 steps). Coming down the stairs was HELL since I couldn't bend my knee at all. Oh, getting in and out of a car was no stroll in the park either. When eating out, I deliberately slashed my liquid intake to reduce toilet trips. It was bad.
On Tuesday, my knee was still stiff but not to painful. I went to see the doctor and he gave me diclofenac 20mg which IMHO, sucks. Right now, I'm taking glucosamine on the side as well. Like my mother, I love popping supplements.
On Wednesday night, my limp was barely noticeable but I still cannot fully bend my knee.
On Thursday I headed back to work eventhough I had one more day of MC because I was so bored. Heck, I even wore heels for the fun of it.
Anyway, it's December already.
Worst part of December: Going back to Sibu during Christmas to celebrate my grandfather's birthday. I hate Sibu.
Best part of December: Year-end bonus and Christmas sales. :)
Best part of December: Year-end bonus and Christmas sales. :)
