Thursday, September 28, 2006
Braces make me ill
I was reading this blog owned by a quite famous M'sian lady blogger who has a penchant for camwhoring when I decided to hop over to her bf's blog.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 10:56 pm ::
The bf wears braces.
Nothing personal, but I feel ill at the sight of braces. The thought of metal wires strapped to my teeth is just nasty. Yeah, I know that not everyone is blessed with perfect teeth and kudos to those who take pains to correct them, but that's just me. Like I said, it's nothing personal.
I feel blessed to have above average teeth because I really couldn't care less about flossing and trips to the dentists. Sometimes I get really paranoid about accumulated tartar and I brush my teeth three times in a row but I don't floss because I have a phobia about the flossing threads slicing my gums.
I don't go to the dentist (except to extract my wisdom tooth) because the last time I did, the dentist poked and prodded the insides of my mouth with that sharp instrument (I think it's called a dental explorer) and I was soooo traumatised by the whole experience. I'm not a fan of pain. And I absolutely abhor having sharp things inserted in my mouth. That's why I willingly shelled out RM300 to have my wisdom tooth extracted, all because the dentist promised me that he wouldn't use needles.
When it comes to dental work, everything MUST be painless. I won't compromise one bit.
On the bright side... I'm going for sashimi and oysters tonight! Yayness! Best of all, someone else is footing the bill! Talk about store-bought happiness... but hey, I'm in the mood to be bribed. :)
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
10 random football facts about moi
- I am a Liverpool supporter. I started supporting Liverpool back when David James was their goalkeeper. When David James left, I switched my attention to Jamie Redknapp and Michael Owen. When Owen left to play for Real Madrid, I was disgusted. It took me awhile to sink in that football superstars do not last forever. MK is a true blue Beckham fan who can never remember that Beckham doesn't play for Man Utd anymore. Well, look at Beckham now. Football superstar indeed. Bah.
- I had a Juventus jersey which I only wore once. One day my friend R was hanging out at my house when he suddenly remembered that he had a football match. He asked to borrow a jersey and I generously lend him my Juventus. I never got it back.
- I hate Man Utd. I hate Chelsea. But I hate Chelsea more than I hate Man Utd.
- Until now I never try to understand what constitutes an off-side. Technically I know how it happens but when it actually happens, I use it as an opportunity to yell, "WTF?!?! What do you mean it's off-side?!?!"
- I hate yellow. It's a pity Liverpool's away jersey is yellow. And why do you think I don't support Brazil during World Cup (eventhough I think that Kaka is totally hot).
- The first football player I ever fancied was David James. Okay, fine... he's a goalkeeper. But when he shaved his head bald, he was HOT. Like Tyson Beckford. Ooh.
- Other football players I've fancied: Jamie Redknapp, Michael Owen, Steven Gerrard, Ryan Giggs, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Stan Collymore, Iker Casillas, Raul, Pablo Aimar, Tim Cahill, Kaka and few more which I've fallen for on the spot and then conveniently forgotten.
- Before Liverpool, I supported Tottenham Hotspur for a very short while because I was a huge fan of Paul Gascoigne. I was 11 or 12yo when I saw the music video of his hit single 'Geordie Boys'. I was hooked on the spot. And later when I found out that Gazza played for Spurs, I became a Spurs fan. Unfortunately everything ended when he moved to Lazio.
- I've always supported Argentina during the World Cup. If Argentina goes out, then I'll switch loyalties to Germany, Spain, or Italy. But I'll never never NEVER support France.
- I'll never support England either during the World Cup because:
- I have deep dislike for David Beckham. If football had a whore, Beckham would be it.
- I have never really forgiven Michael Owen for leaving Liverpool.
- England's matches are effing boring. Really, I should've recorded their matches and whenever my mother asks me for Dormicum, I'll just ask her to watch reruns of the game. It's like a cheaper and healthier alternative to sleeping pills.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 9:22 pm ::
Monday, September 25, 2006
The truth about lies
If you're a lousy liar, don't ever ever EVER cheat on your other half. You'll end up getting bitten and looking like an idiot in the end.
I'm not a good liar. Actually, I can concoct pretty good tales, but I can never be arsed to remember them. Yes, I'm amnesiac like that. So I usually end up telling the truth. Or half-truth, which is like the truth with the questionable bits conveniently left out.
Back in college, I secretly dated this guy. My parents thought we were just friends because they were highly against me going steady with anyone before I graduated. Like my father always say, "Love and studies CANNOT go together."
Ironically, I believe him now.
Anyway, to be on the safe side, I hung out alot with another guy too. R was a year younger than me and lived near my house. So usually I would hang out at his house, or he would come over to my place. At that time, my sister knew I had a bf. "You better not tell mummy," I warned her.
"Huh? You want me to tell lies arh?" she asked.
"Haiya.. if mummy asks, you just say that you don't know, can?"
"That's like telling lies."
"I don't care. If you get me into trouble, I'll kill you."
True enough, not long after that, my mother interrogated my sister, "Tell me, is your sister dating R?"
I laughed when my sister complained to me. "At least you didn't have to lie!"
"Yeah, but what if mummy finds out?"
I grinned. "Nahhh... she's not going to find out."
"How do you know?"
"Because she's too busy trying to figure out why R is not my boyfriend, and yet we still keep going out on 'dates'. Gosh, it's so fun to mislead the parents."
My sister shook her head in exasperation.
Both my parents never did find out.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 11:10 pm ::
Sunday, September 24, 2006
A note to my dear readers: If you post tactless comments, do expect a tactless reply. And I have no qualms about punching below the belt. You've been warned.
Thanks to the humid weather, I was afflicted by migraine so bad that all I could do was clutch my head in agony and wish for a swift death.
I'm not a fan of pain (don't expect to see inkandsteel art on any part of my body) and migraine tops the list of Most Dreaded Pain. Toothache comes a close second, but thank goodness I only experience it when my wisdom tooth emerges.
Anyway, I was teleconferencing with some of my Penang associates when my migraine got worse and worse until I was practically crying. Voices over the phone were like needles piercing my eardrums and every single nerve-ending in my head. I was on the verge of slamming the phone down and locking myself in the darkness of my bedroom, but I had to endure the Penang associates hashing and rehashing the meeting's agenda...
It was pure agony.
The Panadol Actifast took half an hour to kick in. I would've taken two, but unfortunately I only had a single pill left. I was on the verge of screaming and gouging my eyeballs out when finally the medication kicked in and I drifted to sleep, totally exhausted.
And I woke up the next morning feeling mildly hungover-ed. Wanted to call in sick but I've got too much work to do. Seriously.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 10:40 pm ::
Thursday, September 21, 2006
The one with the OCD
My 14-day mission is almost over... and I've managed to lose about 8 kg.
Yeah, it was some detox program, hence the no-smoking rule.
My Penang associate (PA) called me a couple of days ago.
PA: So how's the juicing coming along?
Me: Erm.. like that lah.
PA: What do you mean by like that lah? Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that I have no life.
PA: *LOL* Don't worry, it'll be over soon. I've done it before myself.
Me: When I'm done, I don't ever want to see another carrot again.
PA: Haha. Don't think so much. You can do it! <-- Oh, how I hate this phrase now.
Me: I know I can. I just don't know whether I want to or not.
PA: How come suddenly so demotivated?
Me: The needle on the scale stopped moving.
PA: It happens lah. Initially you lose weight. Then you hit a temporary plateau where you'll stop for a couple of days... bla bla bla... water retention... bla bla bla... tighten your skin...
Me: Oh okay.
PA: So how much weight have you lost so far?
Me: 5 kg.
PA: That's good. When was the last time you weighed yourself?
Me: I weigh myself every single day.
Me: Wait... wait... I weigh myself THREE times a day, EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Me: *happily* Gosh, I love being obsessive-compulsive!
PA: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO WEIGH YOURSELF EVERYDAY!
Me: Why not?!?!
PA: NO WONDER YOU'RE SO DEMOTIVATED! YOU WORRY TOO MUCH!
PA: Wait, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Me: *grins happily*
PA: Your 14-days end this Sunday, right?
PA: Listen, I don't want you anywhere near the weighing scale until Sunday.
PA: Trust me. If you continue being obsessed about your weight, you're never going to lose any.
PA: Hoi, you listening or not?
Me: Yeah, yeah... listen, listen.
But I cheated. I weighed myself yesterday. That's how I knew I lost an additional 3 kg.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 7:19 pm ::
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
It's like that y'all
I'm feeling a little porcupiney today. See those teeny weeny quills erupting from the pores of my skin? Yups, don't sit too close lest you want to get pricked all over.
There are a couple of new faces in my workplace. Sometimes I feel so tempted to ask them why. As in, why here?!?
A few tips on surviving my workplace:
- It pays to be overly paranoid. Learn how to react violently to the slightest sound, especially when the atmosphere's dead quiet. Keep your ears trained towards the door. Think you hear footsteps? Chances are someone is creeping softly behind you, hoping to catch you doing something that you're not suppose to. Do the ostrich every five minutes - pop your head above the cubicle walls to swiftly scan the surroundings and immediately drop down to do your work again. Do the ostrich every minute when you're NOT doing your work.
- Bring a warm jacket if you do not want to freeze to death. The airconditioning's definitely top rate in my office. I've even got winter gloves.
- Learn how to recognize the sharks. If you're working on my floor, there's a miserable obese whaleshark with a penchant for getting people into trouble. There's also a smaller bitchshark who encourages whaleshark to get people into trouble, but backstabs whaleshark in the end.
- Being a little anti-social is good. People don't bug you unnecessarily. But the sharks will.
- Tracks Eraser Pro. For someone paranoid about PC privacy, I can't stress on this enough.
Anyway, two months ago, my company decided to participate in the Love In A Box
program for underpriviledged kids. I sponsored two kids. One wanted a stationeries, while the other wanted a t-shirt. I remembered scanning through the wishlist, thinking how sad those kids were. It's like, you only have one chance to wish for anything you like and you wish for stationeries?!? But I kept my sentiments to myself. After all, not everyone can be a spoilt brat like yours truly. Heh.
Yesterday, I received an sms: Terima kasih kerana membeli hadiah untuk saya. HEFY. *Translated: Thank you for buying a present for me. HEFY.*
I was blur for a couple of seconds, before I realized that Hefy was one of the kids I sponsored. The stationery kid who wants to be a teacher and/or a lawyer when he grows up. I replied: Sama-sama. Ingat, mesti belajar rajin-rajin, ya? *Translated: Welcome. Remember to study hard, okay?*
I just felt so good after that. Eventhough it's just a tiny gesture, I made someone out there happy.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 8:15 pm ::
Monday, September 18, 2006
Let me indulge in a spot of narcissism today
- One of my most prized possession is my Trainspotting DVD. It's like the Holy Grail of screwed-up, mindblowingly orgasmic experimental movies.
- I've bleached my hair ah-lian blond before. It was great. I don't care if I looked horrible but I enjoyed being a blonde so much. So Paris Hilton like you wouldn't believe it.
- I've worked outside my hometown for more than a year. I would again, if I could.
- The first ever cigarette I smoked was Salem. My father lit up the cig and handed it to me, saying, "If I don't let you try now, next time you'll probably go and try smoking behind my back." I was 11yo then.
- I am a teetotaller, meaning I don't touch a single drop of alcohol. No, not even Shandy.
- I scorn guys who can't drive manual cars, because I can.
- Horoscope-wise, I've never dated a Taurus or Aries before. I've been spoilt rotten by a Libra, cheated on by a Cancer and a Gemini, and had my life screwed upsidedown insideout by a Leo bastard. Oh well.
- Top 10 on my wishlist: Happiness, salmon sashimi, foie gras, Disneyland, Paris, black Porsche 997, beach house, luxury town apartment, Jimmy Choo's, loads of money.
- I once told a colleague that I could probably live on salmon sashimi (and kikkoman sauce), mineral water, and Marlboro Menthol Lights for the rest of my life. Now I can safely take the cigs out of the equation, but I'm not sure if I really want to do that. I like smoking. Then again, I'm getting paranoid about my health.
- B knows very well that I was eager to befriend him at first because he hung out with Anthony Bourdain when he came to Kuching. And I'm crazy about Anthony Bourdain. Hell, I'm crazy about guys who can cook. Thank goodness B can cook. Heh.
---BONUS NARCISSISTIC FACT---
- I hate receiving photo albums, photoframes, and long-haired stuffed toys as gifts. The last gift I received was a novel (Goodbye, Jimmy Choo) and a sudoku book from B to keep me occupied on the plane. I love books. Gosh, I love to read.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 11:37 pm ::
Sunday, September 17, 2006
I hate Chelsea
Spent a nice weekend mall-hopping with B until he got struck with tummy discomfort and had to go home.
So we didn't get to watch the Chelsea-Liverpool match together.
Since B's Astro is temporarily down, I sms-ed him little bits and pieces of what was happening during the match.
Me: The score's still 0-0. Kuyt almost scored but hit the the top bar. John Terry plays dirty.
B: Chelsea players are all like that.
Me: Terry tackled Bellamy and fell down. Bellamy didn't even touch him and he got told off for it!
B: That's usually the case.
After a few minutes...
Me: Drogba scored.
B: Must be a pretty good goal.
Me: Yeah, he spun around and kicked the ball straight into the goal. Stupid Liverpool goalie didn't even attempt to save the ball.
B: What to do? That's the way football is.
Me: Gawd, I hate Chelsea.
B: Yeah, none of my friends are Chelsea supporters as well.
Yesterday, while shopping at Lea Sports Centre, B and I saw a guy in a red AC Milan jersey buying football jerseys for his two young sons. One of them was wearing a France World Cup jersey with Zidane's name on the back.
Me: B, look! That guy is buying a Chelsea jersey for his kid! Ewww... how can anyone let their kid be a Chelsea supporter?!? Would you ever let your kid support Chelsea?!?
B: No way.
Me: And.. and.. look! The kid is wearing a France jersey... with Zidane's name on it! Ewww... of all countries, why the hell France?!?! If I ever have kids, I would never let them support France in World Cup!
B: My kids will only support two teams: Liverpool and Brazil.
Me: *indignantly* What about Argentina like their mother?
B: *amused* Like their mother, huh? So does that mean you're going to have kids with me?
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 6:56 pm ::
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Things are NOT looking good
It's even more low-budget than the lowest budget porn I've ever watched. FYI, The Devil Made Me Goo It
- where all the chicks were ugly, unshaved, and actually choked/retched while swallowing.
I want my money back... *enraged howl*
My mood has hit rock-bottom as of late and my temper is fouler than whatever that's festering in the linings of your colon for the past twenty years.
Nobody, absolutely nobody was spared. Except for my colleague C, but only because he promised me a sashimi buffet dinner. But I seriously suspect that the dinner promise wouldn't hold out for long because I told him to fuck it just now.
Me: I'm seriously sick of this fucking mission.
C: Aiyor, don't give up. It's almost a week.
Me: IT'S RUINING MY LIFE!!! I CAN'T GO OUT AND DO THE STUFF I WANT TO DO!!!
C: W (another colleague) is also doing the same as you mah... he's still okay.
Me: THAT'S BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE A REAL LIFE, OKAY? HE GOES HOME TO HIS WIFE AND THEY BOTH MAKE OUT IN FRONT OF THE TV!!! WHAT ABOUT ME? I GO HOME AND PRAY THAT THE DAY FINISHES FASTER SO THAT TOMORROW WILL BE FUCKING DAY 14!!!
MK: You can do it!
Me: FUCK IT!!!
MK: Think of all the good things to come!
Me: I'M SICK OF THE WHOLE FUCKING THING ALREADY!
C: Yeah, think about the Habana buffet!
Me: I DON'T WANT THE BUFFET ANYMORE. I MEAN, JUST FUCK THE WHOLE STUPID IDEA, OKAY. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!
Last night I lost my temper God-knows-how-many-times in a row with my sister until I actually freaked myself out. Collapsed in bed half-exhausted, confused and near tears.
Me: B, wanna go out?
B: You sure you wanna go out?
B: It's okay if you don't feel like going out.
Me: Yeah, I know... but if I stay at home, I'd probably end up murdering my sister.
MK (God bless her patient soul) thinks my sudden volcanic temper is due to nicotine cravings.
Me: But I don't even think about cigarettes anymore!
MK: Yeah... but last time when you're frustrated or something, you just smoke to release everything. And now you can't smoke so your frustrations don't have a release outlet. And so you just explode at everything.
Me: Hmm... You have a point there. You know what?
Me: I NEED TO SMOKE AGAIN, DAMMIT!!!
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 10:00 pm ::
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
4 down... 10 more to go
It's Day 4 of 14-Day Mission and I'm feeling better. No nicotine cravings. Well, I did feel a slight stab of pure, unadulterated ENVY when C lit up in front of me yesterday. Sorethroat's more or less stabilized - still coughing up wads of phlegm but at least the pain has subsided. I'm not feverish anymore but now I'm down with the sniffles, no thanks to the freezing temperature in my workplace.
It's pretty fun in a sick, macabre way to see what ailments I'll be hit by next. What better way to play God than to self-diagnose every single ache that comes along?
Two days ago, I lodged a late-night complain to C. "My throat paaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnn..." I croaked miserably.
C tried to stifle a laughter. "Don't worry, it'll go away."
"I have no voiiiiiiiiiiiice liao. And it's all your fauuuuulllllltt..." I moaned.
"Hahaha. What my fault lorh... who ask you to smoke so much?"
"Cibai lah you," I replied plaintively, "I smoke so long also never get sorethroat. Sien-ah weiiii..."
"Don't think so much. I'll treat you Habana buffet when it's over."
*SASHIMI! SASHIMI! SASHIMI! OYSTERS! OYSTERS! OYSTERS!*
I grinned in the darkness of my bedroom. "You say one arh.."
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 10:10 pm ::
Monday, September 11, 2006
Misery hates company
Am on blogging hiatus at the moment as I rush to complete my (overdued) report.
Am also embarking on a 14-day mission which I shall not disclose until the end of the 14th day. All I can say is that I AM NOT ENJOYING MYSELF. *tragic sniff*
I'm so fucking irritable at the moment. Everything rubs me the wrong way - my colleague's off-key singing, the freezing temperature in the office... even MK commented yesterday, "Gosh, she looks so miserable."
Another colleague of mine, C, grinned and said, "Don't sulk liao."
I continued to sulk miserably while eyeing the nicotine-filled glass case behind the coffeeshop counter.
"I wannaaaaaaa smooooooooooooooooooke..." I whined.
"Oh gawwwwwwwwd... I'd giiiiiiiiive anyyyyythiiiiiing to have a smoooooooooke..."
"After 14 days then you can smoke."
*Big fat pout* :(
"Aiyo, don't sulk liao."
This better be worth it..." I growled, giving C a nasty look.
He laughed again. "Oh yes... it will be. Just wait and see."
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 8:28 pm ::
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Did you miss me while I was away?
I just got back from Penang.
It wasn't all that fun - confined to the seminar room for three days straight till wee hours of the morning.. all those motivational pish-pash shoved down my throat until I actually BELIEVED in myself.
I know I'm the best, but I'm still sheepishly in denial, though. Haha.
And no, I didn't get to eat real Penang food. *sob*
All they fed us at the seminar was pseudohealthy vegetarian food. Fried noodles with cabbages and carrots, fried this, fried that... I felt so unhealthy, I actually developed a craving for Coffee Bean's caesar salad. Cold, fresh lettuce and croutons... now we're talking.
I managed to indulge in a furious calorie-burning retail therapy in KL. I shopped and shopped until I had blisters on both my feet.
I was a happy, happy girl after that.
Posted by Hedonistics Anonymous :: 10:03 pm ::