Hedonistics Anonymous
Monday, October 31, 2005
RageEarly this morning, I attempted to cut myself up.
But he threatened to call my house phone and tell my dad.
I lashed out at him, called him a selfish bastard for making me promise I won't hurt myself.
(I don't belong to you anymore, why the fuck should it matter?)
After all, promises are just words - easily made, easily broken.
(He should know. He is almost a pro at it. I envy his lack of remorse)
I was so much more angry than hurt.
But I prefer anger anyway.
At least anger numbs the pain of a breakup.
But he threatened to call my house phone and tell my dad.
I lashed out at him, called him a selfish bastard for making me promise I won't hurt myself.
(I don't belong to you anymore, why the fuck should it matter?)
After all, promises are just words - easily made, easily broken.
(He should know. He is almost a pro at it. I envy his lack of remorse)
I was so much more angry than hurt.
But I prefer anger anyway.
At least anger numbs the pain of a breakup.
Friendship (or lack thereof)
Melancholy said to me this morning, "Woman, you drop people very abruptly."
I smiled to myself when she said that.
So that's what it looks like.
Anywayyyyyy, just to needlessly clarify the situation, I absolutely do not drop people abruptly. More often than not, my final decision involves lots of soul-searching on my part.
1. How many (more) chances should I give the other party?
2. Respect - is there a lack of it at hand?
3. Is this friendship worth it?
4. Are we both happy, or do we spend most of the time firing verbal arrows at each other?
5. What am I to you? A real friend, or just a random somebody to pile your sorrows upon? Or am I your backup ATM? What about a bitchslap buddy?
6. But the Q that eventually determines my decision is this one: Can I live without our friendship now and 20 years down the line?
Contrary to the sometimes cold-hearted, "I don't give a shit" attitude that I portray, I do worry about my friends alot. I hate to see my friends get into shit which I know can be avoided in the first place. But at times formality and a strict aversion to fussing over people always leaves me looking like the mildly curious/amused but uninvolved onlooker.
But one thing I absolutely have near-zero tolerance for is people who seek my advice, refuse to heed what I say, and later have the nerve to blame me if the situation does not work out in their favour. I don't care if you don't want to take my advice, but using me as a punching bag for any negative outcome because of your own stupidity is 101% friendship abuse. I guess any sane and sensible person would agree with me on this one.
So don't blame me if one day you suddenly discover I'm not that interested in your life anymore, buddy. It's just that... well... you're *probably* better off without me.
I smiled to myself when she said that.
So that's what it looks like.
Anywayyyyyy, just to needlessly clarify the situation, I absolutely do not drop people abruptly. More often than not, my final decision involves lots of soul-searching on my part.
1. How many (more) chances should I give the other party?
2. Respect - is there a lack of it at hand?
3. Is this friendship worth it?
4. Are we both happy, or do we spend most of the time firing verbal arrows at each other?
5. What am I to you? A real friend, or just a random somebody to pile your sorrows upon? Or am I your backup ATM? What about a bitchslap buddy?
6. But the Q that eventually determines my decision is this one: Can I live without our friendship now and 20 years down the line?
Contrary to the sometimes cold-hearted, "I don't give a shit" attitude that I portray, I do worry about my friends alot. I hate to see my friends get into shit which I know can be avoided in the first place. But at times formality and a strict aversion to fussing over people always leaves me looking like the mildly curious/amused but uninvolved onlooker.
But one thing I absolutely have near-zero tolerance for is people who seek my advice, refuse to heed what I say, and later have the nerve to blame me if the situation does not work out in their favour. I don't care if you don't want to take my advice, but using me as a punching bag for any negative outcome because of your own stupidity is 101% friendship abuse. I guess any sane and sensible person would agree with me on this one.
So don't blame me if one day you suddenly discover I'm not that interested in your life anymore, buddy. It's just that... well... you're *probably* better off without me.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Resignation letterDear Sir,
I , Hedonistics Anonymous, ICNO: *****-13-****, would like to tender my resignation as of 1st November, 2005.
Since you foolishly never made me sign any formal contract, I'm therefore giving you one week's notice out of pity. My last day shall be on 7th November, 2005.
Good luck in finding a suitable candidate to replace me.
But fat chance, 'cause I know I'm priceless.
kthxbai.
Yours Lovingly,
Hedonistics Anonymous
Friday, October 28, 2005
IrritatedIt's not PMS, but I feel damn irritated and snappish today.
It didn't help that Streamyx was down for the past 2 hours. When it happened, I immediately blurted, "Mai cibai! Who didn't pay the fucking bill!?!"
The translator girl shot me a wide-eyed stare.
"Taukeh's in the office!" she mouthed, pointing towards the boss's room.
I slunk down into my seat and sulked.
The guys including Mr Supervisor took the opportunity to head out to lunch, leaving the translator girl and I to look after the office.
Fucker. Leave us behind with NO internet. What do you expect us to do??? Masturbate arh??? Climb walls arh???
So damn tulan today.
And if that's not enough, after lunch I had to endure more brainless guy-talk...
"... We should go to China and source unique stuff to sell..."
"...Go to China? What kind of stuff?..."
"...Dunno. China porn? Aiya, you know those China girls very sui one... walaueh..."
"....Yalor, yalor!!! Shit arh.. that night at ***** club I see the China girl-arh, damn chun man... I see until my saliva dripping arh!!!..."
*Cue guys laughing like drunken apes*
It didn't help that Streamyx was down for the past 2 hours. When it happened, I immediately blurted, "Mai cibai! Who didn't pay the fucking bill!?!"
The translator girl shot me a wide-eyed stare.
"Taukeh's in the office!" she mouthed, pointing towards the boss's room.
I slunk down into my seat and sulked.
The guys including Mr Supervisor took the opportunity to head out to lunch, leaving the translator girl and I to look after the office.
Fucker. Leave us behind with NO internet. What do you expect us to do??? Masturbate arh??? Climb walls arh???
So damn tulan today.
And if that's not enough, after lunch I had to endure more brainless guy-talk...
"... We should go to China and source unique stuff to sell..."
"...Go to China? What kind of stuff?..."
"...Dunno. China porn? Aiya, you know those China girls very sui one... walaueh..."
"....Yalor, yalor!!! Shit arh.. that night at ***** club I see the China girl-arh, damn chun man... I see until my saliva dripping arh!!!..."
*Cue guys laughing like drunken apes*
I hope they all contract STDs and die a slow and painful death.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Bye bye oysters..Poor melancholy... I feel bad because she really doesn't need anymore crap happening to her right now and RM700 is alot of money.
RM700 equals to
11 oysters/sashimi sessions at Habana Club
1 new Nokia 6020
1 return ticket to KL + 1-2 nights accomodation
1 return ticket to Bangkok
1 return ticket to Singapore
1 new cd player for the car + installation
2 Guess watches
3 Guess handbags
3 uber expensive bras from Blush!
7 FCUK shirts (on sale)
14 pairs of shoes from Vincci
3 pairs of Levi's
-
-
-
-
Okay.
I feel bad.
I've (temporarily) lost a great oysters & sashimi buddy.
A girl could weep buckets at that thought. *sob sob*
RM700 equals to
11 oysters/sashimi sessions at Habana Club
1 new Nokia 6020
1 return ticket to KL + 1-2 nights accomodation
1 return ticket to Bangkok
1 return ticket to Singapore
1 new cd player for the car + installation
2 Guess watches
3 Guess handbags
3 uber expensive bras from Blush!
7 FCUK shirts (on sale)
14 pairs of shoes from Vincci
3 pairs of Levi's
-
-
-
-
Okay.
I feel bad.
I've (temporarily) lost a great oysters & sashimi buddy.
A girl could weep buckets at that thought. *sob sob*
The Favourites, The Last, The Have You Evers...
Don't blame me, I'm uber bored and sleepy.
What is your favourite..
Gum: BubbleYum - grape flavour
Restaurant: Havana Club for their raw oysters and sashimi
Drink: H20
Season: Summer (don't really have a choice here)
Type of weather: Sunny with a cool breeze blowing
Emotion: High and happy
Thing to do on a half day: Sleep
Late-night activity: Chilling out / Clubbing / Romps
Sport: Aerobox / Taebo / Dance / Romps
City: Legian / Kuta in Bali
Store: Too many to mention. Ok, Isetan is one.
When was the last time you..
Cried: here
Played a sport: Errr.. does mountain climbing count? Last Sunday, then.
Laughed: An hour ago
Hugged someone: Forgot
Kissed someone: Neh, that time...
Felt depressed: Last night
Felt elated: Last night
Felt overworked: Everyday
Faked sick: Last year
Lied: Erm. I don't quite remember. *crosses fingers*
What was the last..
Word you said: Bloody hell
Thing you ate: Trebor Orange Fizz sweet
Song you listened to: Pete Teo's Jesselton Tonight. It's a great song.
Thing you drank: H2O
Place you went to: Aunty Corner (coffeeshop across the street)
Movie you saw: The Myth, starring Jackie Chan. Lame movie.
Movie you rented: Never rented a movie
Concert you attended: I don't attend concerts.
Who was the last person you..
Hugged: Kel
Cried over: Kel
Kissed: Kel
Danced with: John and Irene
Shared a secret with: Kel
Had a sleepover with: Kel
Called: Kel
Went to a movie with: Ems and Rozie
Saw: Mr Supervisor
Were angry with: Kel
Couldn't take your eyes off of: Jefri, but that was only for minute.
Obsessed over: *After much thought* Kel
Have you ever..
Danced in the rain: Danced no. Played yes.
Kissed someone: Yes
Done drugs: Weed mostly
Drank alcohol: Yes
Slept around: Hahahaha.
Partied 'til the sun came up: Yes
Had a movie marathon: Yes
Gone too far on a dare: No
Spun until you were immensely dizzy: Yes
Taken a survey quite like this before: Yes
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
(My) LDR survival guideMr Miyagi is in Aussie doing the reservist thingy and mrbrown is guest blogging at his site till he gets back.
Suddenly I have this feeling that there's a sharp increase in the number of couples feeling the pain of long-distance relationships (LDRs). Don't ask me how or why. I am NOT psychic, okay.
There's something very romantically tragic (or is it tragically romantic) about sending your lover off to the warfront. Choked back tears. The last kiss from the train window. Trying to put on a brave smile as you watch your man leave to die for his country.
Anyway.
I am a pro at LDRs, having been in one kind of DR or another before this (bf leaves to further studies, bf come from elsewhere etc.) I'm LDR-ing at the moment with Kel and yeah, it does suck especially on cold lonely nights, but we cope mainly because we have our own separate lives. He's got his job to deal with and I've got mine which is a lucky thing because part of our salaries go directly to DiGi. (I think I better start buying my reload cards from Cosway. At least I can get redemption coupons.)
He carries my photo in his wallet but I don't carry his in mine because I still have a slight phobia eversince the stolen-handbag-at-Grappa incident. We've both got each other's photos by our bedsides though.
And since I can't be with him as often as I'd love to, my favourite cure-for-pouts is to bug him for presents. Don't care if it's just the dangling Mango Cat toy from McD. Don't care if it's just bedsheets (I sooo adore bedsheets with a vengeance)
MUST.BUY.ME.PRESENT!!!!!!
But there's a big loophole to this lunacy and Kel knows it all too well.
Me: Must buy me present!!! *pouts*
Kel: What do you want, baby...?
Me: Dunno. Anything lah. *pouts*
Kel: Okay, later I'll go out and see if there's anything nice to buy, k?
Me: Okay!! *big happy grin!*
Immediately I'll forget that I ever pouted/whined/sulked/demanded for presents.
Suffering from very mild amnesia plus borderline Attention Deficit Disorder is crucial for the survival of any LDR. Trust me on this one.
Suddenly I have this feeling that there's a sharp increase in the number of couples feeling the pain of long-distance relationships (LDRs). Don't ask me how or why. I am NOT psychic, okay.
There's something very romantically tragic (or is it tragically romantic) about sending your lover off to the warfront. Choked back tears. The last kiss from the train window. Trying to put on a brave smile as you watch your man leave to die for his country.
Anyway.
I am a pro at LDRs, having been in one kind of DR or another before this (bf leaves to further studies, bf come from elsewhere etc.) I'm LDR-ing at the moment with Kel and yeah, it does suck especially on cold lonely nights, but we cope mainly because we have our own separate lives. He's got his job to deal with and I've got mine which is a lucky thing because part of our salaries go directly to DiGi. (I think I better start buying my reload cards from Cosway. At least I can get redemption coupons.)
He carries my photo in his wallet but I don't carry his in mine because I still have a slight phobia eversince the stolen-handbag-at-Grappa incident. We've both got each other's photos by our bedsides though.
And since I can't be with him as often as I'd love to, my favourite cure-for-pouts is to bug him for presents. Don't care if it's just the dangling Mango Cat toy from McD. Don't care if it's just bedsheets (I sooo adore bedsheets with a vengeance)
MUST.BUY.ME.PRESENT!!!!!!
But there's a big loophole to this lunacy and Kel knows it all too well.
Me: Must buy me present!!! *pouts*
Kel: What do you want, baby...?
Me: Dunno. Anything lah. *pouts*
Kel: Okay, later I'll go out and see if there's anything nice to buy, k?
Me: Okay!! *big happy grin!*
Immediately I'll forget that I ever pouted/whined/sulked/demanded for presents.
Suffering from very mild amnesia plus borderline Attention Deficit Disorder is crucial for the survival of any LDR. Trust me on this one.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Pill-gasmsThis freakin' website can read your mind. No kidding. Click HERE to try.
Yesterday thanks to an unstoppable bout of sneezing and runny nose, I overdosed on panadols and flu pills. No Valium, but only because my insomniac mother nicked my one and only Valium pill two nights ago.
Pill tally last night:
I consumed all at one go.
One minute later, I felt all wonky. It was great. I literally staggered up to my room, flopped on my bed and started to plan my funeral till I eventually drifted off to sleep.
Yesterday thanks to an unstoppable bout of sneezing and runny nose, I overdosed on panadols and flu pills. No Valium, but only because my insomniac mother nicked my one and only Valium pill two nights ago.
Pill tally last night:
- 3 Panadols (Doctor's orders: 1 tablet 4 times a day)
- 2 flu pills (Doctor's orders: 1 tablet 3 times a day)
- 1 "unblock my nose" pill (Doctor's orders: 1 tablet 3 times a day)
- 1 Vitamin C tablet (1000mg)
I consumed all at one go.
One minute later, I felt all wonky. It was great. I literally staggered up to my room, flopped on my bed and started to plan my funeral till I eventually drifted off to sleep.
Fucking A-awesome.
I love sleep-inducing flu pills.
STOP IT ALL OF YOU!!!
The huge uproar caused by Xiaxue's (unfortunate) take on public toilets for the disabled is simply ridiculous.
I think this bullshit has gone too far.
I've used toilets for the disabled before. I did my business. I flushed.
So bloody what.
I've launched sweet wrappers and tissue paper out the window of a moving car.
I throw my ciggie butts by the sidewalks.
The main point is WHO HASN'T?????
ALL OF YOU ARE FUCKING HYPOCRITES!!!
I don't like or dislike XiaXue, but all of you moronic flamers please stop acting like righteous fuckwits. Don't just comment blindly (ya, ya... xiaxue is a bitch! burn that stupid cunt!!) because at the end of the day, you only make yourself and your fellow countrymen look dumb.
(like they say in malay-hokkien: veli men-xiaxuey-kan)
Around the world, people are starving. Children are dying.
From diseases, hunger, famine, war etc.
And here we are making a big bloody hoohaa over... what again?... toilets? *smirks*
Sigh.
I think this bullshit has gone too far.
I've used toilets for the disabled before. I did my business. I flushed.
So bloody what.
I've launched sweet wrappers and tissue paper out the window of a moving car.
I throw my ciggie butts by the sidewalks.
The main point is WHO HASN'T?????
ALL OF YOU ARE FUCKING HYPOCRITES!!!
I don't like or dislike XiaXue, but all of you moronic flamers please stop acting like righteous fuckwits. Don't just comment blindly (ya, ya... xiaxue is a bitch! burn that stupid cunt!!) because at the end of the day, you only make yourself and your fellow countrymen look dumb.
(like they say in malay-hokkien: veli men-xiaxuey-kan)
Around the world, people are starving. Children are dying.
From diseases, hunger, famine, war etc.
And here we are making a big bloody hoohaa over... what again?... toilets? *smirks*
Sigh.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Fuck tactTact is a fucking waste on fickle-minded wusses.
You build yourself a magnificient castle tucked high on the hill. You rule your little country with an iron fist. You sit on a golden throne. You subject people to every single whim and fancy of yours.
You say eat. They eat.
You say sit. They sit.
You say shit. They shit.
You say eat shit. They also eat shit.
BUT then again, not everyone is as stupid and as obliging as you think they are. As a matter of fact, what makes you think that anyone is actually listening to you or following your orders? Oooh, I have an even scarier thought...
What if noone actually thinks you're THAT great?
Creepy huh?
Truth is, noone cares about your sad shit life. I'm so sorry but nobody's making you the centre of their universe. And you can rant and rave for all you like, but at the end of the day, you're just the miserable, sorrowful crap left crying all by yourself in the rain while the rest of us are enjoying our double-shot espressos at Starbucks.
Oh and btw, your life is nothing but a pathetic illusion. Your castle is nothing but an over-sized cardboard box. Your golden throne is nothing but a cracked, pee-stained, smelly toilet bowl.
And the only one who actually listens and agrees with your lunacy is your own reflection in the mirror.
You build yourself a magnificient castle tucked high on the hill. You rule your little country with an iron fist. You sit on a golden throne. You subject people to every single whim and fancy of yours.
You say eat. They eat.
You say sit. They sit.
You say shit. They shit.
You say eat shit. They also eat shit.
BUT then again, not everyone is as stupid and as obliging as you think they are. As a matter of fact, what makes you think that anyone is actually listening to you or following your orders? Oooh, I have an even scarier thought...
What if noone actually thinks you're THAT great?
Creepy huh?
Truth is, noone cares about your sad shit life. I'm so sorry but nobody's making you the centre of their universe. And you can rant and rave for all you like, but at the end of the day, you're just the miserable, sorrowful crap left crying all by yourself in the rain while the rest of us are enjoying our double-shot espressos at Starbucks.
Oh and btw, your life is nothing but a pathetic illusion. Your castle is nothing but an over-sized cardboard box. Your golden throne is nothing but a cracked, pee-stained, smelly toilet bowl.
And the only one who actually listens and agrees with your lunacy is your own reflection in the mirror.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Dancing on hot coalsLast night was weird.
I was in a lovey-dovey mood with Kel, trading mooshy wooshy kisshugsfucks via sms when suddenly a thunderbolt sms came in from femme fatale, La Diva.
"... I am so angry with you because of *insert one week ago incident*..."
My first reaction was wtf?!? Why didn't you confront me that very day than wait till one week later to release all your frustrations??
Then I had an evil thought... Maybe she needed one week towrite her script build up her case.
Heh.
I was in a lovey-dovey mood with Kel, trading mooshy wooshy kisshugsfucks via sms when suddenly a thunderbolt sms came in from femme fatale, La Diva.
"... I am so angry with you because of *insert one week ago incident*..."
My first reaction was wtf?!? Why didn't you confront me that very day than wait till one week later to release all your frustrations??
Then I had an evil thought... Maybe she needed one week to
Heh.
So there I was, playing Dr Jekyll and My Hyde... switching moods back and forth between romantic and lawyer-defensive.
Some more, I began to fear that I might accidentally send the wrong sms to the wrong person... Kel's to La Diva and vice versa.
It was more exhausting than anything else.
Anywayyyyyy... the La Diva case is quite solved... and Diva, if you are reading this... I am sorry, k...?
Some more, I began to fear that I might accidentally send the wrong sms to the wrong person... Kel's to La Diva and vice versa.
It was more exhausting than anything else.
Anywayyyyyy... the La Diva case is quite solved... and Diva, if you are reading this... I am sorry, k...?
"Baby, can I ask you something...?"
"Yes, what is it?"
He was silent for a moment. I waited patiently.
"Well... ermm... uhh... mmmmm... "
I became slightly suspicious. Kel might be quiet but he seldom fumble for words. I bit my lower lip and waited.
"Baby, whose cock is bigger...?"
OMFGWTFBBQKNNCCBK!!!!
This question is as bad as the age-old "Honeyyyyyy, do you think I am FAT???" Thank god I can be the queen of diplomacy when the situation calls for it. I gathered my wits and took a deep breath.
"Sayang," I began, "I don't exactly keep track of cock sizes because Asian guys' cocks are more or less the same size. And I have never had a Mat Salleh before, so there's really no comparison."
He was silent.
Immediately I continued, "And even if.. and I mean IF... I knew whose cock was bigger, you wouldn't know any of them even if I mentioned names. So what's the point of asking, right?"
He sighed, "Yeah... I know... oh, and I've got another question to ask you..."
OH NO.. NOT AGAIN, FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! "Yes...?"
"Who's the best in bed?"
I rolled my eyes heavenwards and *almost* asked for divine intervention when my smart-alecked mouth decided to cut in.
"Sayang, I don't keep track of who's best in bed, but I do remember the bad ones."
"Oh?" Curious.
"Well, yeah. For me, guys are either good or bad fucks. Bad fucks are those who don't know what they are doing or they cum too fast. Good fucks are those who I want a repeat performance with. If I singled out one particular guy as the best fuck, this means that all the other guys are lousy, right? I can't do that... because not all of them were bad. You get?"
"Yeah, I get."
Time to wrap up this conversation before I end up digging my own grave deeper than ever.
"Sayang, don't think so much okay? The most important thing is that I love you very, very much and I think you are great... *insert ooey gooey pink red heart-shaped phrases*..."
I could sense him smiling over the other end of the phone.
And the world became a peaceful place again.
"Yes, what is it?"
He was silent for a moment. I waited patiently.
"Well... ermm... uhh... mmmmm... "
I became slightly suspicious. Kel might be quiet but he seldom fumble for words. I bit my lower lip and waited.
"Baby, whose cock is bigger...?"
OMFGWTFBBQKNNCCBK!!!!
This question is as bad as the age-old "Honeyyyyyy, do you think I am FAT???" Thank god I can be the queen of diplomacy when the situation calls for it. I gathered my wits and took a deep breath.
"Sayang," I began, "I don't exactly keep track of cock sizes because Asian guys' cocks are more or less the same size. And I have never had a Mat Salleh before, so there's really no comparison."
He was silent.
Immediately I continued, "And even if.. and I mean IF... I knew whose cock was bigger, you wouldn't know any of them even if I mentioned names. So what's the point of asking, right?"
He sighed, "Yeah... I know... oh, and I've got another question to ask you..."
OH NO.. NOT AGAIN, FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! "Yes...?"
"Who's the best in bed?"
I rolled my eyes heavenwards and *almost* asked for divine intervention when my smart-alecked mouth decided to cut in.
"Sayang, I don't keep track of who's best in bed, but I do remember the bad ones."
"Oh?" Curious.
"Well, yeah. For me, guys are either good or bad fucks. Bad fucks are those who don't know what they are doing or they cum too fast. Good fucks are those who I want a repeat performance with. If I singled out one particular guy as the best fuck, this means that all the other guys are lousy, right? I can't do that... because not all of them were bad. You get?"
"Yeah, I get."
Time to wrap up this conversation before I end up digging my own grave deeper than ever.
"Sayang, don't think so much okay? The most important thing is that I love you very, very much and I think you are great... *insert ooey gooey pink red heart-shaped phrases*..."
I could sense him smiling over the other end of the phone.
And the world became a peaceful place again.
Friday, October 21, 2005
What happened last night...?Getting out of bed this morning was pure torture. I think I hit the snooze button on my phone six times before I could gather enough energy to more or less sit up straight in bed.
And then it hit me. What happened last night?
I was out with the God. We were at... Soho?
No, that doesn't sound too right.
Dammit..!! Now not only am I borderline amnesiac, but my cunning egofuck of a brain is trying to create FALSE memories!!! O_o *wtf!?!*
Anywayyyy, last night I had dinner at Thymes with Melancholy and Ems. Halfway during his pizza, Ems was recounting his little "run-in" with a horny ah kua (transvestite) at Discovery.
Ems : ... and HE invited me back to HIS room at the Holiday Inn! Executive Suite some more!
Me : Omg.. why didn't you go?
Ems : I was so smashed already... I had to call Uncle A to rescue me.
Me : Seriously would you fuck the ah kua? Like, for RM500?
Ems : Errr... can consider lah... As long as it's not me being poked in the ass!
Me : Eww... can you imagine yourself fucking the ah kua doggy style, and his schlong is, like, slapping your thighs repeatedly... plock! plock! plock!
Ems : (Starts coughing and choking on his pizza) OMG WOMAN... WTF?!?!?
A little later, Ems' friend Andy joined us. Now Andy is this cute, hunky, jap-eyed guy who has a perpetually solemn face. The waiter handed him the menu and he proceeded to flip through.
"Hey look, they spelled lasagna wrong. It says 'lagsane' in the menu."
Andy called the waiter over.
"May I have the LAG-SANE please?"
We were all speechless for a second. Then we started howling madly with laughter, while Andy with his solemn face kept saying, "What? what? Aren't you suppose to order as stated exactly in the menu??"
That bugger.
-_-"
And then it hit me. What happened last night?
I was out with the God. We were at... Soho?
No, that doesn't sound too right.
Dammit..!! Now not only am I borderline amnesiac, but my cunning egofuck of a brain is trying to create FALSE memories!!! O_o *wtf!?!*
Anywayyyy, last night I had dinner at Thymes with Melancholy and Ems. Halfway during his pizza, Ems was recounting his little "run-in" with a horny ah kua (transvestite) at Discovery.
Ems : ... and HE invited me back to HIS room at the Holiday Inn! Executive Suite some more!
Me : Omg.. why didn't you go?
Ems : I was so smashed already... I had to call Uncle A to rescue me.
Me : Seriously would you fuck the ah kua? Like, for RM500?
Ems : Errr... can consider lah... As long as it's not me being poked in the ass!
Me : Eww... can you imagine yourself fucking the ah kua doggy style, and his schlong is, like, slapping your thighs repeatedly... plock! plock! plock!
Ems : (Starts coughing and choking on his pizza) OMG WOMAN... WTF?!?!?
A little later, Ems' friend Andy joined us. Now Andy is this cute, hunky, jap-eyed guy who has a perpetually solemn face. The waiter handed him the menu and he proceeded to flip through.
"Hey look, they spelled lasagna wrong. It says 'lagsane' in the menu."
Andy called the waiter over.
"May I have the LAG-SANE please?"
We were all speechless for a second. Then we started howling madly with laughter, while Andy with his solemn face kept saying, "What? what? Aren't you suppose to order as stated exactly in the menu??"
That bugger.
-_-"
iGod (Part Deux)
I honestly find chatting with iGod maddeningly entertaining.
Me:
who am i?
God:
You are , seeker.
Me:
but i don't play quidditch.
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
do what?
God:
play quidditch.
Me:
i don't have a broomstick.
God:
Do you know anyone who has it.
Me:
a witch?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
25
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 25 years old?
Me:
very randy.
God:
Perhaps. Is that from ?
Me:
it's from chatting with you.
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
you are so boring.
God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
-_-"
Me:
who am i?
God:
You are , seeker.
Me:
but i don't play quidditch.
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
do what?
God:
play quidditch.
Me:
i don't have a broomstick.
God:
Do you know anyone who has it.
Me:
a witch?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
25
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 25 years old?
Me:
very randy.
God:
Perhaps. Is that from ?
Me:
it's from chatting with you.
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
you are so boring.
God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
-_-"
Absolutely nothing pleases me today. I am sooo going to pierce my tongue soon.
Yay.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Tooshed*Note to self: Listening to Eros Ramazotti at work only leads to severe emo-ness. But I revel in mental self-torture. It's morbidly satisfying.*
I was out with Z last night. It was boring. I think being apart for months contributed to that. Anywayyyyy, I don't think I fancy him that much anymore... but then again, I might contradict myself sooner or later, so let's just assume I didn't really say that.
And then haaa... when I got home, my over-inflated ego started whispering crap into my ears.
"Pssst.. go ask him..."
Hmm. Interesting. Curiosity overpowered sensibility. I picked up the phone and sms-ed Z.
Me : Weiii.. I ask you something. Do you still like me?
Him : Why?
Me : Nothing... just asking.
(Long pause)
Him : Yes, I do.
Me : What do you like about me?
(Long pause)
Him : I don't know.
It was then I went in for the ultimateblooper kill.
Me : Do you have a gf?
He never answered my sms after that. I was like... oh fuck. That was soooo toooshing. Sometimes shit happens when you let your (over) confidence take the (dumb) upper hand. He probably thinks I'm slightly deranged at the moment, but he's not too far off from the truth.
Ah well, c'est la vie.
I will buy him a drink one day to apologize for being so thick-skinned.
And maybe get him into bed after that.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I was out with Z last night. It was boring. I think being apart for months contributed to that. Anywayyyyy, I don't think I fancy him that much anymore... but then again, I might contradict myself sooner or later, so let's just assume I didn't really say that.
And then haaa... when I got home, my over-inflated ego started whispering crap into my ears.
"Pssst.. go ask him..."
Hmm. Interesting. Curiosity overpowered sensibility. I picked up the phone and sms-ed Z.
Me : Weiii.. I ask you something. Do you still like me?
Him : Why?
Me : Nothing... just asking.
(Long pause)
Him : Yes, I do.
Me : What do you like about me?
(Long pause)
Him : I don't know.
It was then I went in for the ultimate
Me : Do you have a gf?
He never answered my sms after that. I was like... oh fuck. That was soooo toooshing. Sometimes shit happens when you let your (over) confidence take the (dumb) upper hand. He probably thinks I'm slightly deranged at the moment, but he's not too far off from the truth.
Ah well, c'est la vie.
I will buy him a drink one day to apologize for being so thick-skinned.
And maybe get him into bed after that.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
iGod
Thanks to Lainie, I can now pour my bleeding heart out to God here.
Me:
i am horny
God:
You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.
Me:
sex chat?
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
but it's boring.
God:
Do you like the Simpsons?
Me:
i like porn.
God:
A lot of people like that. Sure I do, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
wanna fuck?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
ok ok.. wanna make sweet love?
God:
OK. Come on. OK, I will make sweet love.
Me:
do you use condoms?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
good.. i don't want to be responsible for the birth of the second saviour.
God:
Then don't be.
Me:
but what if you make me pregnant?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
god, you're screwed up.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am screwed up.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Cinta antara dua darjatLove between two classes.
It hurts to tell you that no matter how much I want you and want to be with you, I can't.
Not in this lifetime.
Education IS power. It does determine where you stand in our uber materialistic dog-eat-dog society.
It's so simple. I have a degree and you don't. He has a degree and you don't.
That's why I traded my romantic desires for financial security.
That's why I chose him over you.
It hurts, huh? I know... *sad smile*
Sigh.
*Shrugs* Who knows, maybe it'll work out for us in our next lives.
It hurts to tell you that no matter how much I want you and want to be with you, I can't.
Not in this lifetime.
Education IS power. It does determine where you stand in our uber materialistic dog-eat-dog society.
It's so simple. I have a degree and you don't. He has a degree and you don't.
That's why I traded my romantic desires for financial security.
That's why I chose him over you.
It hurts, huh? I know... *sad smile*
Sigh.
*Shrugs* Who knows, maybe it'll work out for us in our next lives.
I feel so jiwang today. This song suits my mood purr-fect-ly.
Click here to download Eros Ramazotti e Zucchero - Senza Una Donna.mp3
Link expires in 7 days.
Link expires in 7 days.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Yea, thou I walk through...... the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me..." Psalm 23:4
For me, the best time for indulging in deep thoughts is during my drive home from work. My thoughts are not often pretty, sometimes they're just plain weird and morbid but I welcome each and every one of them with open arms because, well, they are MY thoughts.
See? Weird, huh? *cheeky grin!*
Yesterday, it smacked me full in the face that I don't want to die old.
Hell, I don't think I even want to live till I'm like 90 or something. I don't want to grow old and ugly. I don't want to be bed-ridden with a multitude of tubes dangling out from every single hole in my body. I don't want to lose all my teeth and eat mush. I don't want to have ugly white hair. I don't want to stop having a great time.
I dread growing old even more than I dread dying.
I love to ogle guys and make cheeky comments or eye contact whenever an oh-so-cute one passes by. And I can totally get away with it. Imagine a wrinkly, old amah doing that... UWEKKKKKK!!!!! *vomits blood*
I don't like most little kids. Usually, I tolerate those brats out of politeness. What if I hate my own grandchildren???
*Shudders*
I think the day I wake up and effing hate the sight of my ancient, wrinkly self... I'm so going to hire a hitman to kill me. Suicide is too boring for words.
At least I'll guarantee myself a whole week of front-page tabloid fame.
For me, the best time for indulging in deep thoughts is during my drive home from work. My thoughts are not often pretty, sometimes they're just plain weird and morbid but I welcome each and every one of them with open arms because, well, they are MY thoughts.
See? Weird, huh? *cheeky grin!*
Yesterday, it smacked me full in the face that I don't want to die old.
Hell, I don't think I even want to live till I'm like 90 or something. I don't want to grow old and ugly. I don't want to be bed-ridden with a multitude of tubes dangling out from every single hole in my body. I don't want to lose all my teeth and eat mush. I don't want to have ugly white hair. I don't want to stop having a great time.
I dread growing old even more than I dread dying.
I love to ogle guys and make cheeky comments or eye contact whenever an oh-so-cute one passes by. And I can totally get away with it. Imagine a wrinkly, old amah doing that... UWEKKKKKK!!!!! *vomits blood*
I don't like most little kids. Usually, I tolerate those brats out of politeness. What if I hate my own grandchildren???
*Shudders*
I think the day I wake up and effing hate the sight of my ancient, wrinkly self... I'm so going to hire a hitman to kill me. Suicide is too boring for words.
At least I'll guarantee myself a whole week of front-page tabloid fame.
More Memes
I ripped this from Melancholy "Skanky-Puss" Thongs.
1. what's your full name?
hedonistics anonymous
2. do you like your name?
it's effing orgasmic. i love it.
3. what is the time now?
4.33PM
4. what song are you listening right now?
kt tunstall - other side of the world
5. do you enjoy your life now?
sure. *smiles*
6. do you have a boy/girlfriend now?
*nods profusely*
7. describe how he/she looks like...
big eyes, long lashes, tanned
8. money or love?
both. i love money.
9. friends or lover?
both. they're both interchangeable anyway.
10. how are you feeling right now?
calm and sleepy.
11. do you like babies?
only chubby, smiling, big-eyed ones. i hate them once they start crying.
12. do you want to go for honeymoon?
of course.
13. where will you choose for your honeymoon?
paris.
14. working or studying?
both.
15. how many ex boy/girlfriends do you have?
lost track already.
16. do you have any scandal now?
no. really, no.
17. what's your favourite foods?
japanese, italian, and western.
18. can you drive?
of course. i can even drive you up the wall.
19. what car you bring?
i don't "bring" cars. i drive them. a kancil, to be more precise.
20. what's your dream?
to be healthier than you, wealthier than you, and wiser than you.
21. what would you be when you turn 30y old?
a 30 yr old lady.
22. how do you choose a person to be your wife/husband?
very carefully. after choosing, tattoo your name on his/her ass to mark your property.
23. what are you doing to do after this?
go home and take a nice hot shower.... aaah.....
24. what are you interested in?
books, sex, music, guys, cars, money, movies... but not necessarily in that order.
25. where do you like the most in your hometown?
my bedroom and merdeka palace hotel.
26. what do you expect in your life?
i expect money to fall from the sky every morning.
27. local food or western food?
western food cooked by locals.
28. how would you tell someone that you love them?
spray paint big red hearts all over his car, front door, and dog.
29. do you like clubbing?
never tried. *hic!*
30. do you think you are good looking?
oh hell yes coz my momma told me so.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Jiwang-nessToday I shall try to emo-blog like my good friend, this God, who I swear is the epitome of jiwang-ness.
I even created a pepatah for him:
"...Semacho-macho John berlagak, akhirnya turun pangkat jadi jiwang (ngegeh) jugak..."
Oi ngegeh, nice or not my pepatah? Ngegeh kan? But that's because you are, so be proud of it!!! Malaysia Boleh, Ngegeh Pun Boleh!!!
Okay, here goes nothing... *Takes a deep breath...*
X... it has been almost 2 months since I last saw you. If I close my eyes tight, I can still imagine your beautiful smile framed by the sweetest lips I've ever kissed. Do you still remember the day time stopped for both of us... we were lying in the strawberry fields, my head resting on your solid chest, as we gazed up and traced hearts in the clouds over and over again...
X... remember how we immortalised our love? I cried tears of fierce happiness when you gently carved your name across my back with your Swiss Army knife. I did the same for you too... and after that we both flopped down, exhausted, on the cool white linen... leaving our bloody imprints which totally freaked the housekeeping lady out. She could never, would never understand, my love. Noone does.
X... how's life down under? I know your pyromaniacal obssessions would rather I reduce you to a mere 21 grams than this, but please forgive me... I cannot bear to lose you. Not then. Not now. Not forever.
And definitely not to her.
So X... as I look out into the strawberry fields, my heart does a tiny dance of joy. Though you are hidden from view, I know for sure that you are there.
Waiting patiently for me.
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(Erm, I do think I write morbid stories better than jiwang ones...)
I even created a pepatah for him:
"...Semacho-macho John berlagak, akhirnya turun pangkat jadi jiwang (ngegeh) jugak..."
Oi ngegeh, nice or not my pepatah? Ngegeh kan? But that's because you are, so be proud of it!!! Malaysia Boleh, Ngegeh Pun Boleh!!!
Okay, here goes nothing... *Takes a deep breath...*
X... it has been almost 2 months since I last saw you. If I close my eyes tight, I can still imagine your beautiful smile framed by the sweetest lips I've ever kissed. Do you still remember the day time stopped for both of us... we were lying in the strawberry fields, my head resting on your solid chest, as we gazed up and traced hearts in the clouds over and over again...
X... remember how we immortalised our love? I cried tears of fierce happiness when you gently carved your name across my back with your Swiss Army knife. I did the same for you too... and after that we both flopped down, exhausted, on the cool white linen... leaving our bloody imprints which totally freaked the housekeeping lady out. She could never, would never understand, my love. Noone does.
X... how's life down under? I know your pyromaniacal obssessions would rather I reduce you to a mere 21 grams than this, but please forgive me... I cannot bear to lose you. Not then. Not now. Not forever.
And definitely not to her.
So X... as I look out into the strawberry fields, my heart does a tiny dance of joy. Though you are hidden from view, I know for sure that you are there.
Waiting patiently for me.
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(Erm, I do think I write morbid stories better than jiwang ones...)
Sunday, October 16, 2005
My take on Cipram2 Ciprams courtesy of my lovely cousin on Saturday night left me temporarily de-libido-ed, slightly hung over, and I woke up the next morning to find my teeth chattering non-stop.
"Heh, you sound like you OD-ed. 2 is too big a dose for a first-timer", she laughed.
"Yeah, but I didn't feel anything after taking the first pill."
Oh well.
I'm still feeling the after-effects... I'm unnaturally tired although I did sleep well last night. I feel jittery and slightly dehydrated. I get distracted super-easily; trying to stay focused is very exhausting.
So much for Cipram being an anti-depressant. I never knew it was THAT strict as not to work on people with normal moods. But it does work as an appetite suppressant, I guess.
Heh.
"Heh, you sound like you OD-ed. 2 is too big a dose for a first-timer", she laughed.
"Yeah, but I didn't feel anything after taking the first pill."
Oh well.
I'm still feeling the after-effects... I'm unnaturally tired although I did sleep well last night. I feel jittery and slightly dehydrated. I get distracted super-easily; trying to stay focused is very exhausting.
So much for Cipram being an anti-depressant. I never knew it was THAT strict as not to work on people with normal moods. But it does work as an appetite suppressant, I guess.
Heh.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Downward spiralJust now it suddenly hit me.
I'm not so myself anymore.
15 seconds ago, I re-evaluated my life - taking stock of what I have achieved to date, my happiness factor, am I satisfied, blah de blah blah... and I realized that I was much much happier a year ago when I was living away from home.
I *think* the main problem lies in living with my family.
When I'm living alone, I eat what I want to eat. So the food is always good. I go where I want to go. So I'm always happy. I do what I want to do and all at my own time.
All is good.
Now I can't do that. I don't like my parents' cooking. I wouldn't mind taking over the kitchen job but since I work too long hours, it's out of the question. I can't pull an all-nighter anymore because my parents will definitely ask all sorts of Qs. And it's not like I'm dying to pull an all-nighter here anyway... Kuching is sooooo boring!
In hindsight, I can probably stay single forever (but have an armada of toyboys for THAT purpose) and be very, very contented. I am self-centered because I appreciate myself the most. I don't mind doing things for people if they appreciate it, but usually than not, they don't. They start taking things for granted. And that's when I become unhappy.
Like now.
I'm not so myself anymore.
15 seconds ago, I re-evaluated my life - taking stock of what I have achieved to date, my happiness factor, am I satisfied, blah de blah blah... and I realized that I was much much happier a year ago when I was living away from home.
I *think* the main problem lies in living with my family.
When I'm living alone, I eat what I want to eat. So the food is always good. I go where I want to go. So I'm always happy. I do what I want to do and all at my own time.
All is good.
Now I can't do that. I don't like my parents' cooking. I wouldn't mind taking over the kitchen job but since I work too long hours, it's out of the question. I can't pull an all-nighter anymore because my parents will definitely ask all sorts of Qs. And it's not like I'm dying to pull an all-nighter here anyway... Kuching is sooooo boring!
In hindsight, I can probably stay single forever (but have an armada of toyboys for THAT purpose) and be very, very contented. I am self-centered because I appreciate myself the most. I don't mind doing things for people if they appreciate it, but usually than not, they don't. They start taking things for granted. And that's when I become unhappy.
Like now.
Too much family makes me sick.
P/S: I think the word "freedom" is missing somewhere.
P/P/S: Don't ANYBODY suggest I move out of the house. I can't move out of the house... not at the moment... not until I've completed my studies.
I *think* deep down inside I resent my parents for making me come back to Kuching to study. I hate it when people make life-changing decisions for me because they have the right to do so.
P/P/S: Don't ANYBODY suggest I move out of the house. I can't move out of the house... not at the moment... not until I've completed my studies.
I *think* deep down inside I resent my parents for making me come back to Kuching to study. I hate it when people make life-changing decisions for me because they have the right to do so.
It's... QUIZ TIME!!! (yes, again!)
Attempted 2 quizzes this morning. The doggy quiz, I nicked from Spot. Actually I've got work to do but I.. just.. don't.. feel.. like.. doing.. anything.. serious.. on.. a.. gorgeous.. Saturday.. morning..
I would love to go window shopping now.Or relax over a nice cup of coffee.. with a good book.
I miss having time to myself... doing my own things... *sniff*
brought to you by Quizilla
HecateThursday, October 13, 2005
Self satisfactionBeing permanently glued to the earphones in office has its advantages.
1. I do not have to listen to the guys' stupid bickerings.
2. I do not have to pretend not to know anything. Not my fault what... I didn't hear anyone say anything!
3. Not my fault also that I have to use earphones. Who asked the boss not to get me a set of PC speakers?
4. I do not have to listen to He-Who-Sits-Behind-Me when he starts playing oldies or new-agey Chinese opera music.
5. I do not have to listen to He-Who-Sits-Two-Cubbies-Away-From-Me when he starts playing James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" or Benny Benassi's "Satisfaction" on repeat.
2. I do not have to pretend not to know anything. Not my fault what... I didn't hear anyone say anything!
3. Not my fault also that I have to use earphones. Who asked the boss not to get me a set of PC speakers?
4. I do not have to listen to He-Who-Sits-Behind-Me when he starts playing oldies or new-agey Chinese opera music.
5. I do not have to listen to He-Who-Sits-Two-Cubbies-Away-From-Me when he starts playing James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" or Benny Benassi's "Satisfaction" on repeat.
"...Push me
And then just touch me
Till I can get my satisfaction
Satisfaction,
Satisfaction,
Satisfaction,
Satisfaction..."
And then just touch me
Till I can get my satisfaction
Satisfaction,
Satisfaction,
Satisfaction,
Satisfaction..."
This morning I downloaded an old Blur song, "Charmless Man", and the more I listen to it, the more I feel that it fits the description of SOMEONE who pissed me off grandly yesterday.
So Mr. SOMEONE... this song goes out to you. May your life match every detail of the lyrics forever. *Self satisfied smirk*
So Mr. SOMEONE... this song goes out to you. May your life match every detail of the lyrics forever. *Self satisfied smirk*
"Charmless Man"
I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
The story of a charmless man
Educated the expensive way
He knows his Claret from a Beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
But then nature didn't make him that way
He thinks his educated airs, those family shares
Will protect him, that you will respect him
He moves in circles of friends who just pretend that they like him
He does the same to them and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man
He knows the swingers and their cavalry
Says he can get in anywhere for free
I began to go a little cross-eyed
And from this charmless man I just had to hide
He talks at speed he gets nosebleeds
He doesn't see his days are tumbling down upon him
Yet he tries so hard to please, he's just so keen for you to listen
But noone is listening and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man
He thinks his educated airs, those family shares
Will protect him, that you will respect him
He moves in circles of friends who just pretend that they like him
He does the same to them and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man
Click here to download Blur - Charmless Man.mp3
(Link expires in 7 days)
I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
The story of a charmless man
Educated the expensive way
He knows his Claret from a Beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
But then nature didn't make him that way
He thinks his educated airs, those family shares
Will protect him, that you will respect him
He moves in circles of friends who just pretend that they like him
He does the same to them and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man
He knows the swingers and their cavalry
Says he can get in anywhere for free
I began to go a little cross-eyed
And from this charmless man I just had to hide
He talks at speed he gets nosebleeds
He doesn't see his days are tumbling down upon him
Yet he tries so hard to please, he's just so keen for you to listen
But noone is listening and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man
He thinks his educated airs, those family shares
Will protect him, that you will respect him
He moves in circles of friends who just pretend that they like him
He does the same to them and when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man
Click here to download Blur - Charmless Man.mp3
(Link expires in 7 days)
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Strength
The Fool, victorious over his enemies, is feeling arrogant, powerful, even vengeful. There is a hot passion in him that he can barely control. It is in this state that he comes across a maiden struggling with a lion. Running to help, he arrives in time to see her gently but firmly shut the lion's mouth! In fact, the beast, which seemed so wild and fierce a moment ago, is now completely at her command.
Amazed, the Fool asks her, "How did you do that?"
One hand on the lion's mane, she answers, "Will power. Any beast, no matter how wild, will back down before a superior will."
At that moment, the Maiden meets the Fool's eyes; though young, her look is knowing and filled with great power. "Likewise," she says to him, "there are many unworthy impulses inside us. It is not wrong to have them. But it is wrong to let them control us. We are humans, not beasts, and we can command such energy, use them for higher purposes."
I rant in colours
I DETEST taking orders from MORONS.
What's worse is that they INSIST that I do things THEIR moronic way.
OMFG... I pray that noone ever sees me in this indignified situation.
But I have to do what I'm told to do because the paymaster is also a moron and trying to explain that THEIR way SUCKS just doesn't sink into their thick NUMBSKULLS.
I'd have a better shot at explaining things to the wall. At least the wall doesn't argue back.
If I were a guy, I'd say that this whole STUPID fiasco is like lousy group jerk-off.
Someone is always left with blue balls.
What's worse is that they INSIST that I do things THEIR moronic way.
OMFG... I pray that noone ever sees me in this indignified situation.
But I have to do what I'm told to do because the paymaster is also a moron and trying to explain that THEIR way SUCKS just doesn't sink into their thick NUMBSKULLS.
I'd have a better shot at explaining things to the wall. At least the wall doesn't argue back.
If I were a guy, I'd say that this whole STUPID fiasco is like lousy group jerk-off.
Someone is always left with blue balls.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
It's... QUIZ TIME!!!Totoro is a smirking wolf.
Yvy is a smirking crow. (Hmmm... how does a crow smirk, I wonder...)
And I am....
You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yes... I am a smirking horse. A 1st class friend, I tell ya... LOL!
Okay, here's another interesting quiz:
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
EQ-ed?
Nicked this little gay link from BeerBrat. But since I like gays, I decided to give it a shot.
| Your EQ is |
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar. |
Guess I'm "emotionally" normal after all.
Sigh
Boring, boring, boring.
Hand me my Prozacs now, please.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Double whammyI got whacked by some evil virus yesterday that not only made me burn up with fever, but caused my joints to hurt like mad. Especially my hand and finger joints... it's freaky the way I don't feel anything at first, and then suddenly pain starts zinging up and down my fingers, accurately striking all the nerve ends along the way.
Bloody ouch.
I didn't eat lunch yesterday. Didn't have the appetite. I slept at my desk for 40mins till I couldn't take it anymore and called my dad.
Me : *moaning loud enough for Mr Supervisor to hear* Dadddyyy... I feel sickkkk... I am having a feverrrr...
Dad : Tell your boss you are sick and you need to see a doctor.
Me : I don't dare...
Dad : So how? Need me to bring you to see doctor?
Me : YES!
Dad : Okay. I've got something to do now, but I'll fetch you at 2pm.
My original plan to was to get my dad to speak to my ladyboss about my being sick and all but I then I had another brainwave. I opened my MSN and lo and behold! My ladyboss was online!
Me : Madam, I am having a fever now. May I go to see the doctor at 2pm?
Ladyboss : Okay.
Me : Thank you.
Ladyboss : Welcome.
Phew. That wasn't too difficult. Or maybe she was in a good mood yesterday. I contemplated letting Mr Supervisor know about my afternoon plans, but decided against it. After all, I've already obtained permission from higher authority.
Not letting Mr Supervisor know = speculation among colleagues = major bitching behind my back.
Late last night I got whacked again, this time by the runs. Didn't get much shut-eye as I trotted back and forth to the loo. Woke up in a foul mood this morning. Bitched to my dad about how I don't want to go to work and all...
Dad : Then don't go to work.
Me : Later my colleagues bitch about me non-stop!!!
Dad : Then go to work.
Me : But I got diarrheoaaaaaa...
Dad : Then how? What do you want me to do?!?
Me : *Throws dad a disgusted you-men-are-all-alike look* Haiya! Nevermind lah!
So here I am at work, a bottle of orange-flavoured oral rehydration salt mixture on the right side of my desk and an empty sachet of Bio-Life vanilla-flavoured yoghurt powder mix in front of me. The yoghurt powder is to replace the good bacteria in the colon/intestines. There's a packet of Dhamotil in my drawer. Stupid pharmacist tried to give me some weak diarrheoa pills (on par with lousy Imodium) this morning until I looked her in the eye and specifically asked for Dhamotil. Some more, I had to ask for the yoghurt powder as well.
Lunch time now.
But I still don't dare to eat. Sigh.
Bloody ouch.
I didn't eat lunch yesterday. Didn't have the appetite. I slept at my desk for 40mins till I couldn't take it anymore and called my dad.
Me : *moaning loud enough for Mr Supervisor to hear* Dadddyyy... I feel sickkkk... I am having a feverrrr...
Dad : Tell your boss you are sick and you need to see a doctor.
Me : I don't dare...
Dad : So how? Need me to bring you to see doctor?
Me : YES!
Dad : Okay. I've got something to do now, but I'll fetch you at 2pm.
My original plan to was to get my dad to speak to my ladyboss about my being sick and all but I then I had another brainwave. I opened my MSN and lo and behold! My ladyboss was online!
Me : Madam, I am having a fever now. May I go to see the doctor at 2pm?
Ladyboss : Okay.
Me : Thank you.
Ladyboss : Welcome.
Phew. That wasn't too difficult. Or maybe she was in a good mood yesterday. I contemplated letting Mr Supervisor know about my afternoon plans, but decided against it. After all, I've already obtained permission from higher authority.
Not letting Mr Supervisor know = speculation among colleagues = major bitching behind my back.
Late last night I got whacked again, this time by the runs. Didn't get much shut-eye as I trotted back and forth to the loo. Woke up in a foul mood this morning. Bitched to my dad about how I don't want to go to work and all...
Dad : Then don't go to work.
Me : Later my colleagues bitch about me non-stop!!!
Dad : Then go to work.
Me : But I got diarrheoaaaaaa...
Dad : Then how? What do you want me to do?!?
Me : *Throws dad a disgusted you-men-are-all-alike look* Haiya! Nevermind lah!
So here I am at work, a bottle of orange-flavoured oral rehydration salt mixture on the right side of my desk and an empty sachet of Bio-Life vanilla-flavoured yoghurt powder mix in front of me. The yoghurt powder is to replace the good bacteria in the colon/intestines. There's a packet of Dhamotil in my drawer. Stupid pharmacist tried to give me some weak diarrheoa pills (on par with lousy Imodium) this morning until I looked her in the eye and specifically asked for Dhamotil. Some more, I had to ask for the yoghurt powder as well.
Lunch time now.
But I still don't dare to eat. Sigh.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
LethargismYesterday my cruel, cruel parents made me go mountain climbing.
I sooo hate mountain climbing, even if it's the civilised type which doesn't involve dangling in a crotch harness over the edge of a rock wall. Actually, it's... just... walking up wooden steps. ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT of freakin' wooden steps!!!
(My poor thighs hurt today... *whimper*)
Mount Singai is some sort of Christian retreat. On the way up the mountain, there are cross sculptures, each depicting a scene from Jesus's suffering after he was condemned to death.
Me : Eh woman, how many crosses are there?
Sis : Errr... I think... altogether there are 18 crosses along the way.
Me : O_o *wtf?!?*
Cross #1 to cross #5 was okay.
But at cross #6, the steps started to increase in gradiency and THAT was when I started bitching and whining and complaining. My parents tried to console me.
Dad : Nevermind, we walk slowly... later we stop and take a rest again.
Me : Can. You find me an escalator first lah.
Dad : Where got escalator?!?
Me : Fine. I'm not fussy. Get me a cable car.
Mum : Don't give up... you can do it!
Me : Mum, there are 18 crosses. I'm only on cross #6 and I feel like shit. By the time I reach the 18th cross, I'll be dead.
Mum : Where got 18 crosses?!? Who said so?!?
Me : Neh... that girl... *points accusingly at my sis*
Mum : Since when you ever listen to her?!?
Me : *Sulks* When her words agree with how shitty I feel.
Mum : I think there are only 13 crosses!!!
Me : Still... I don't wanna walk anymore!
I ab-so-lute-ly refused to budge.
So my parents left me behind and continued up the steps.
I waited. Looked around. Continued sulking. Watched people panting and dragging their sorry arses up the steps.
Boring, boring, boring.
Hey, cross #7 doesn't look that far. Maybe I should just move up....
... and I did. All the way to cross #10. I was literally half-dead by then. And when I looked up, what did I see...? My lovely sister making her way down the steps. I was so relieved! Finally, time to go hommmmeeeee... *skippety skip*
Huh. Yeah right.
As I was about to go down the steps, I heard someone called my name. Looked up and saw my mum waving at me. Great.
Mum : Come up lah! You're almost there!
Me : *Pretends not to hear*
Dad : 5 minutes more and you'll reach the top... c'mon, don't waste time.
Me : Elo...??? 8 more crosses in 5 minutes? I don't think so.
Mum : *Throws my sis a dirty look* 3 crosses left only lah!!
Sis : Errr... yes, yes...
Me : You liar... now you telling the truth or not?
Sis : Yes, yes...
Me : Like that, then you follow me up also.
Sis : WHAT?!?! AGAIN!?!?!
Mum : Yes, again!!!
Sis : *whinebitchsulk*
Me : Heh.
Anyway, to cut a lonnnnggg whiny story short, I did make to the peak without dying of cardiac arrest... (My parents actually gave me a big hand for that) The air was fresh, and the view from the top was amazing. And did I enjoy myself?
*crosses fingers*
NO! NO! NO!
I sooo hate mountain climbing, even if it's the civilised type which doesn't involve dangling in a crotch harness over the edge of a rock wall. Actually, it's... just... walking up wooden steps. ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT of freakin' wooden steps!!!
(My poor thighs hurt today... *whimper*)
Mount Singai is some sort of Christian retreat. On the way up the mountain, there are cross sculptures, each depicting a scene from Jesus's suffering after he was condemned to death.
Me : Eh woman, how many crosses are there?
Sis : Errr... I think... altogether there are 18 crosses along the way.
Me : O_o *wtf?!?*
Cross #1 to cross #5 was okay.
But at cross #6, the steps started to increase in gradiency and THAT was when I started bitching and whining and complaining. My parents tried to console me.
Dad : Nevermind, we walk slowly... later we stop and take a rest again.
Me : Can. You find me an escalator first lah.
Dad : Where got escalator?!?
Me : Fine. I'm not fussy. Get me a cable car.
Mum : Don't give up... you can do it!
Me : Mum, there are 18 crosses. I'm only on cross #6 and I feel like shit. By the time I reach the 18th cross, I'll be dead.
Mum : Where got 18 crosses?!? Who said so?!?
Me : Neh... that girl... *points accusingly at my sis*
Mum : Since when you ever listen to her?!?
Me : *Sulks* When her words agree with how shitty I feel.
Mum : I think there are only 13 crosses!!!
Me : Still... I don't wanna walk anymore!
I ab-so-lute-ly refused to budge.
So my parents left me behind and continued up the steps.
I waited. Looked around. Continued sulking. Watched people panting and dragging their sorry arses up the steps.
Boring, boring, boring.
Hey, cross #7 doesn't look that far. Maybe I should just move up....
... and I did. All the way to cross #10. I was literally half-dead by then. And when I looked up, what did I see...? My lovely sister making her way down the steps. I was so relieved! Finally, time to go hommmmeeeee... *skippety skip*
Huh. Yeah right.
As I was about to go down the steps, I heard someone called my name. Looked up and saw my mum waving at me. Great.
Mum : Come up lah! You're almost there!
Me : *Pretends not to hear*
Dad : 5 minutes more and you'll reach the top... c'mon, don't waste time.
Me : Elo...??? 8 more crosses in 5 minutes? I don't think so.
Mum : *Throws my sis a dirty look* 3 crosses left only lah!!
Sis : Errr... yes, yes...
Me : You liar... now you telling the truth or not?
Sis : Yes, yes...
Me : Like that, then you follow me up also.
Sis : WHAT?!?! AGAIN!?!?!
Mum : Yes, again!!!
Sis : *whinebitchsulk*
Me : Heh.
Anyway, to cut a lonnnnggg whiny story short, I did make to the peak without dying of cardiac arrest... (My parents actually gave me a big hand for that) The air was fresh, and the view from the top was amazing. And did I enjoy myself?
*crosses fingers*
NO! NO! NO!
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Pearls of wisdom for the ladiesI took these little pearls of wisdom from Black Jettas' blog. Ladies... some food for thought. Enjoy.
- If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
- If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
- Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
- Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
- Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
- Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
- Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
- Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself later for staying when things are not better.
- The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU.
- Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
- Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
- Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
- Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
- You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
- Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
- He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
- Never let a man define who you are.
- Never borrow someone else's man.
- If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
- A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
- NOT all men are dogs.
- You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
- You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
- You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
- Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
- Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
- Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Tweaky tweak (Part Deux)Yesterday's parting conversation...
Melancholy : (Referring to my drop-down menu thingys) Ooooo... nicey nice!!!
Me : It does make the sidebar look neater, doesn't it?
Melancholy : Yeah, it does. And now woman, it's time to do something about your Neocounter.
Me : What? I can't tweak my Neocounter lah... After the first 14 days, they won't let you make adjustments anymore.
Melancholy : Oh? I was referring to your Neocounter stats list. It's sooooo long!!!
Me : .............
Uh-oh. The bey kam guan monster reared its head again... this time in the form of a show/hide javascript function that enables the loooooooooong stats list to be revealed/concealed when you do a mouse rollover on the link.
I spent the whole morning tweaking the code... and I swear, this one arh... is killing compared to the drop down menu.
Good luck Beer Brat... *smirky smirk*
Arrrgghhhh... I am sooooooooooo freakin' tired now.
Melancholy : (Referring to my drop-down menu thingys) Ooooo... nicey nice!!!
Me : It does make the sidebar look neater, doesn't it?
Melancholy : Yeah, it does. And now woman, it's time to do something about your Neocounter.
Me : What? I can't tweak my Neocounter lah... After the first 14 days, they won't let you make adjustments anymore.
Melancholy : Oh? I was referring to your Neocounter stats list. It's sooooo long!!!
Me : .............
Uh-oh. The bey kam guan monster reared its head again... this time in the form of a show/hide javascript function that enables the loooooooooong stats list to be revealed/concealed when you do a mouse rollover on the link.
I spent the whole morning tweaking the code... and I swear, this one arh... is killing compared to the drop down menu.
Good luck Beer Brat... *smirky smirk*
Arrrgghhhh... I am sooooooooooo freakin' tired now.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Tweaky tweak"Bey kam guan" (dissatisfaction) fever is highly contagious. It is closely related to the green-eyed monster syndrome.
As usual, this morning I went blog hopping. Suddenly I stumbled upon a blog that used drop down menus to store links.
It looked pretty cool.
"It looks better than yours..." whispered the bey kam guan fairy in my ear.
My left eyebrow shot up reflexively.
My fingers curled and uncurled impulsively.
I bit my lower lip and...
*Tweaky tweak tweak...*
tadaaaaaaaaaaaa..!!!!
As usual, this morning I went blog hopping. Suddenly I stumbled upon a blog that used drop down menus to store links.
It looked pretty cool.
"It looks better than yours..." whispered the bey kam guan fairy in my ear.
My left eyebrow shot up reflexively.
My fingers curled and uncurled impulsively.
I bit my lower lip and...
*Tweaky tweak tweak...*
tadaaaaaaaaaaaa..!!!!
I've got my own drop down menus... woooohooooooo!!!! Nevermind that I slaved half of the morning away trying to figure out the nitty gritty bits of code. Nevermind that I've given all my javascript know-how back to my horrible college lecturers. Nevermind this, nevermind that...It's the effing end results that count, peeps. *Satisfied grin!*
Confession booths
confession booths are all the rage these days
i should know-
their voices invade my inner sanctum
desperate cries for help
elevate me to god-like status
in ruby-red robes
and a scepter in my hand
as they lay their tales of deceit
at my hallowed feet
expecting a miracle
yet, forgetting all the same
that beneath this facade
i am nothing
but a part-time confession booth
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Haloscan commenting and trackbackHaloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.
Yeah, I know Beer Brat implemented it first. Too bad I'm just soooo bey kam guan that I just HAD to get one of my own.
Just now I tweaked my blog's font size a couple of sizes smaller but since SOMEONE complained that he was going blind reading my posts, I decided to retain the original size.
Me : Woman... old people are having problems reading my blog.
Melancholy : Hey, aren't you suppose to be targetting young, handsome guys with excellent eyesight instead?
Me : I want to... but my blog seems to be a magnet for DOMs.
Melancholy : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Me : HOIIII!!! YOUR BLOG TOO, OKAY?!!?
Nahhh... I was just kidding. Don't shoot me.
Yeah, I know Beer Brat implemented it first. Too bad I'm just soooo bey kam guan that I just HAD to get one of my own.
Just now I tweaked my blog's font size a couple of sizes smaller but since SOMEONE complained that he was going blind reading my posts, I decided to retain the original size.
Me : Woman... old people are having problems reading my blog.
Melancholy : Hey, aren't you suppose to be targetting young, handsome guys with excellent eyesight instead?
Me : I want to... but my blog seems to be a magnet for DOMs.
Melancholy : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Me : HOIIII!!! YOUR BLOG TOO, OKAY?!!?
Nahhh... I was just kidding. Don't shoot me.
Sordid silk whispers
if i had a dollar for everytime you whispered i love you
through lipstick-stained silk hankies,
i would be filthy rich
(no play on the words, my love)
my currency of choice is lies
barter trading blackmails-
an all night meeting
for a ringnecklacebracelet;
a ridiculously small price to pay
for the clean shirt you put on every morning,
a cotton hanky in your pocket.
but do try to remember
i've always been allergic to silk.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Crankiness is contagiousIf I could trade crankiness for a bomb, I would've blown a quarter of the world away already.
It doesn't help that Kel is fasting and he's got to be a good boy the whole of this month.
It doesn't help that I have a bright neon-lighted "confession booth" or "complaints bureau" sign hanging over my head. Strange how I can't see it, but dammit, it's there... Woot!!
It doesn't help that almost everyone around me is PMS-ing. Even the guys. Effing unbelievable.
It doesn't help that my life seems to going nowhere.
It doesn't help that I only got to watch half of House MD last night, thanks to my cantonese serial addict of a mother.
It doesn't help that my ladyboss is totally incompetent when it comes to simple things such as deducting the EPF and SOCSO first BEFORE you even bank in the salary. I absolutely detest taking reponsibility for other people's incompetency.
It doesn't help that last night around 10pm I developed severe cravings for blueberry yoghurt which soon mutated into full blown "I'm sooooo gonna die if I don't get it!!!" cravings for burger jalan (burger sold by Malays by the roadside).
Luckily those silly cravings were contented to settle down and watch House MD.
Tonight, I'm going to cook pasta for my family. Creamy macaroni and cheese, which ranks among the top most fat-inducing comfort food... *sniffles*
I soooo miss my own cooking.
It doesn't help that Kel is fasting and he's got to be a good boy the whole of this month.
It doesn't help that I have a bright neon-lighted "confession booth" or "complaints bureau" sign hanging over my head. Strange how I can't see it, but dammit, it's there... Woot!!
It doesn't help that almost everyone around me is PMS-ing. Even the guys. Effing unbelievable.
It doesn't help that my life seems to going nowhere.
It doesn't help that I only got to watch half of House MD last night, thanks to my cantonese serial addict of a mother.
It doesn't help that my ladyboss is totally incompetent when it comes to simple things such as deducting the EPF and SOCSO first BEFORE you even bank in the salary. I absolutely detest taking reponsibility for other people's incompetency.
It doesn't help that last night around 10pm I developed severe cravings for blueberry yoghurt which soon mutated into full blown "I'm sooooo gonna die if I don't get it!!!" cravings for burger jalan (burger sold by Malays by the roadside).
Luckily those silly cravings were contented to settle down and watch House MD.
Tonight, I'm going to cook pasta for my family. Creamy macaroni and cheese, which ranks among the top most fat-inducing comfort food... *sniffles*
I soooo miss my own cooking.
oooOOOooo... how yummy~!!~why don't you
why don't you
break free from the chain of life,
you're not the weakest link,
just dying for some change
(spare your 2 cents worth, mister?)
next batter...
(they're calling you)
step up to the plate.
don't fear the unknown
(what you don't know can't hurt-)
so why don't you
flee the numb haze
of anaesthesia,
and take a walk on the wild side.
come alive
under rain-washed skies,
pacific isles,
white sand shores,
windswept moors;
cast off your worldly possessions
heavy burdens
and learn to live again.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Grrrrrr....My office has been temporarily converted into a mini-China, thanks to visitors from Shenzen. The guys are butt ugly and not worth a second glance. But they brought along this bimbotic over-friendly chick, all pink breathy sugar candy floss. The type of chick who purposely wears oversized sunglasses indoors because she thinks it's stylish. The type of chick who probably went for double eyelid surgery to enhance her squinty eyes. The type of chick I'm most allergic to.
Some more, she shocked the living daylights out of me just now by magically appearing by my side and squealing, "Hiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!" accompanied by frantic waving of hands and a huge Colgate grin.
I think I visibly flinched. Not my fault lah, xiao mei mei... it's my auto-defense mechanism kicking in... ni ming bai ma? Ni hui jiang ying wen ma? Dong bu dong?
My work motto has always been don't bug me and I won't bug you. Fair enough? Only the boss gets to bug me because he's paying my salary. And mayyyyyyybe the supervisor, because well, he IS the supervisor *grudgingly*. But in the office, if you're NOT my senior, you're NOT paying my salary, you're NOT my friend, or you're NOBODY I know, please leave me alone. I do not exactly resemble Miss Hospitality or Nancy Nurse, do I? I'm sooooo not brimming with cheerfulness and enthusiasm. I'm sooooooo not tripping over myself to be part of the welcoming committee.
So get the message.
I bite.
Some more, she shocked the living daylights out of me just now by magically appearing by my side and squealing, "Hiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!" accompanied by frantic waving of hands and a huge Colgate grin.
I think I visibly flinched. Not my fault lah, xiao mei mei... it's my auto-defense mechanism kicking in... ni ming bai ma? Ni hui jiang ying wen ma? Dong bu dong?
My work motto has always been don't bug me and I won't bug you. Fair enough? Only the boss gets to bug me because he's paying my salary. And mayyyyyyybe the supervisor, because well, he IS the supervisor *grudgingly*. But in the office, if you're NOT my senior, you're NOT paying my salary, you're NOT my friend, or you're NOBODY I know, please leave me alone. I do not exactly resemble Miss Hospitality or Nancy Nurse, do I? I'm sooooo not brimming with cheerfulness and enthusiasm. I'm sooooooo not tripping over myself to be part of the welcoming committee.
So get the message.
I bite.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
The HauntingOn our way to Coffee Master for some after-dinner caffeine high, I called Rozie to ask her about the supposedly haunted house her Dahling brought her to see awhile ago. She told me how to get there with more or less patchy directions. (Errr... if you go up the hill, the road will errr... turn left, and the house will be on your right... no! Left... I think...)
Right.
Ems was driving and so I told him about the haunted house and creepy sightings to date, till his curiosity was reasonably aroused. We'll go after coffee, he said.
The house is located at Ricketts Estate, on a huge sprawling one-acre piece of land. We missed the first turning, and so Ems decided to cut through the old cemetery road (Maxwell Road?) to see if there's a road linking to Ricketts Estate. Luckily there was. We turned in.
And we saw THE house.
I have no idea how I knew that THAT was the house. But Ems and I immediately went silent when we saw it. A spiked fence marked the boundaries of the property, the monotony of it broken only by the tall wrought-iron gate. Ems reversed the car back first right outside the gate and we both turned around and stared into the solid inky blackness of the compound. Strangely, although there's a streetlamp in front of the house, the glow from the light ended right at the mouth of the gate. We couldn't make out a single detail of the house except for some dim yellow light filtering half-heartedly out of the windows - the kind of light you get from a solitary overhanging bulb.
Ems and I continued waiting in silence. My imagination started running wild. Would I see something crawling, like Rozie did or would I see what her Dahling's friends saw - three figures approaching their car? The house has a tainted history, marked by two suicides and a murder. Hence, the three figures...
Suddenly Ems opened the door and stepped out of the car.
"Hey!!! What are you doing?!? Get back in right now!!!" I hissed.
He got back into the car immediately. There was cold, cold feeling in the air and I started to feel uncomfortable.
"Eh, go now lah. I'm getting this creepy feeling..." I told Ems. He nodded and slowly eased the car out of the front drive.
We turned left at the Maxwell-Ricketts T-junction and proceeded down a small slope. Suddenly the car started to jerk. Ems panicked slightly. "What the...?!?! Why is my car jerking?!?!"
"Maybe you're using the wrong gear?" I replied.
"No, I'm not!!! What's going on?!?" Ems turned back to glance for a moment and immediately he whipped to the front and started mumbling something about "... in the boot..."
I didn't dare to look back. The car was still jerking and losing power. "What did you see...?" I asked Ems quietly.
"Nothing... nothing..." he answered, gripping the steering wheel hard.
Suddenly the car stopped jerking. We continued to drive on in silence until we reached Bamfylde Road. I tried asking Ems again, "So what happened? What did you see?"
He paused for a moment before replying, "Something black. It was sitting on the car boot."
"Ewww..." I breathed, "The car felt heavy just now...?"
"Yeah, I was gunning the oil like mad. Still it kept slowing down and jerking..."
I bit down on my lower lip, the way I always do when there's a million things playing on my mind but they're better left unsaid.
"That house is scary."
Ems nodded. "You know what... just now right, I felt as if there was something calling me, trying to draw me into the house..."
I bit down harder on my lip to keep quiet, but the screams in my head became increasingly hysterical and piercing...
"Omg...He stepped out...!!!! He stepped out...!!! He stepped out...!!!"
Right.
Ems was driving and so I told him about the haunted house and creepy sightings to date, till his curiosity was reasonably aroused. We'll go after coffee, he said.
The house is located at Ricketts Estate, on a huge sprawling one-acre piece of land. We missed the first turning, and so Ems decided to cut through the old cemetery road (Maxwell Road?) to see if there's a road linking to Ricketts Estate. Luckily there was. We turned in.
And we saw THE house.
I have no idea how I knew that THAT was the house. But Ems and I immediately went silent when we saw it. A spiked fence marked the boundaries of the property, the monotony of it broken only by the tall wrought-iron gate. Ems reversed the car back first right outside the gate and we both turned around and stared into the solid inky blackness of the compound. Strangely, although there's a streetlamp in front of the house, the glow from the light ended right at the mouth of the gate. We couldn't make out a single detail of the house except for some dim yellow light filtering half-heartedly out of the windows - the kind of light you get from a solitary overhanging bulb.
Ems and I continued waiting in silence. My imagination started running wild. Would I see something crawling, like Rozie did or would I see what her Dahling's friends saw - three figures approaching their car? The house has a tainted history, marked by two suicides and a murder. Hence, the three figures...
Suddenly Ems opened the door and stepped out of the car.
"Hey!!! What are you doing?!? Get back in right now!!!" I hissed.
He got back into the car immediately. There was cold, cold feeling in the air and I started to feel uncomfortable.
"Eh, go now lah. I'm getting this creepy feeling..." I told Ems. He nodded and slowly eased the car out of the front drive.
We turned left at the Maxwell-Ricketts T-junction and proceeded down a small slope. Suddenly the car started to jerk. Ems panicked slightly. "What the...?!?! Why is my car jerking?!?!"
"Maybe you're using the wrong gear?" I replied.
"No, I'm not!!! What's going on?!?" Ems turned back to glance for a moment and immediately he whipped to the front and started mumbling something about "... in the boot..."
I didn't dare to look back. The car was still jerking and losing power. "What did you see...?" I asked Ems quietly.
"Nothing... nothing..." he answered, gripping the steering wheel hard.
Suddenly the car stopped jerking. We continued to drive on in silence until we reached Bamfylde Road. I tried asking Ems again, "So what happened? What did you see?"
He paused for a moment before replying, "Something black. It was sitting on the car boot."
"Ewww..." I breathed, "The car felt heavy just now...?"
"Yeah, I was gunning the oil like mad. Still it kept slowing down and jerking..."
I bit down on my lower lip, the way I always do when there's a million things playing on my mind but they're better left unsaid.
"That house is scary."
Ems nodded. "You know what... just now right, I felt as if there was something calling me, trying to draw me into the house..."
I bit down harder on my lip to keep quiet, but the screams in my head became increasingly hysterical and piercing...
"Omg...He stepped out...!!!! He stepped out...!!! He stepped out...!!!"
Saturday, October 01, 2005
You love my WHAT!?!?!Altavista's Babel Fish Translation software is absolutely hilarious!
Tinkering around with the English - Simplified Chinese translation, I keyed in the following and got the weirdest results ever:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! =D
