We were at Rainforest, the new-ish club opposite Hilton. Some friend of Ems and "Uncle" Andrew (she's a nice girl, btw) ordered this drink for me. I have seriously no idea what it was... some red-orangey cough-syrup tasting mixture of vodka, grenadine syrup and god-knows-what-else. Being the stubborn alcohol virgin that I am-
(Rozie: She gets drunk on Coke! HAHA!)
-I threw caution to wind and started sipping. Slowly. The music in the background was a rojak mixture of dance, house and ah-beng techno.
1/4 glass down. Uncle A was bouncing around like a crazed Energizer bunny, telling me about his past conquests. I felt fine. Hell, I felt good. Uncle A was verbally speeding at 250km/h and I took pleasure in goading him. Meanwhile, Ems was sweating and turning a nice shade of burgundy.
1/2 glass down. Ems stopped sweating and started looking human again. Uncle A was showing no signs of slowing down. Thanks to him, I discovered that I knew nuts about the anal region of the human body. Uncle A was going on and on about how I have not lived until I've "had my arsehole licked". Right. So far so good.
3/4 glass down. *Beep* *Beep* My system started to rebel. But how could I let my sifu uncle down? Agik idup agik ngelaban! Bottoms... UP!
I could hear bongo drums going off in my head. Worse still, they were incredibly off-beat. The little guy in my stomach probably got so mad at the ruckus, he started his own heavy-metal band to compete against the mad bongo drummers. That's when I made a time-out gesture to Uncle A and dashed to the toilet.
(Awesome splashy details omitted)
When I got back, Uncle A told Ems to send me home. But Ems, being the bloody lo-so "asoh" that he is, took five whole minutes to say goodbye to the girl who got me the killer drink. I know five minutes is not very long, but when you're smashed and just standing up becomes a major Olympic event, five minutes can translate to forever.
So I took the opportunity to pay the toilet a visit again. Luckily Ems was done by the time I was done. And believe me, I was VERY done.
Another boring Friday night spent.